Sunday, October 2, 2011

"Healthy Relationships: Make Things Right" by Cheri Holdridge (with an assist by Kurt Young)


     Have you ever heard Christians debating over their “brand” of Christianity? I do. I suppose it just human nature. We are diverse and so we experience God differently and we live out our faith differently. Since the time of Jesus, and long before, there have been debates over what is the best way to be faithful to God.

      In the first part of the Bible, the Hebrew Bible, the one we Christians call the Old Testament, we have much of what we call “the Law.” Of course we have the “big ten,” the Ten Commandments, and then the Old Testament has thousands of other laws to tell us how to live in ways that please God.

      But history shows that some folks got a little too caught up in the details of the law, rather than the spirit of loving God, loving their neighbor, and loving self.   Is it the spirit of the law, or hitting every minute detail?  That’s the debate.  In Matthew’s Gospel, where our scripture for today is found, Jesus has just spoken about this very thing. (And by the way, if you have wanted to start reading your Bible again, Matthew chapters 5-6-7 is a great place to start. We call this The Sermon on the Mount, and it’s a great place to find the heart of Jesus’ teaching.)

     So in Chapter 5, Jesus begins by saying: 17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. “  But then as he begins to preach, we see that he wants to make the law more clear and more down to earth. He wants to connect the law to the real life experiences of the people. It is not about rigid rules – the law is about living the ways of God down to your daily life, down to the very core of your existence. This is serious stuff to Jesus.

       So then Jesus takes the law, and gives some particular examples, and that is where we get our scripture for today. You see, he is trying to say that unless we are ready to LIVE with an attitude of reconciliation and peace in our personal lives, then the law is of no use, and basically the world is doomed, there is no hope for any of us.  Following the minutia is useless if you can’t live the life of love God, love your neighbor, as yourself.

     The law says: 'Do not murder.' Jesus says, our angry, hateful thoughts are just as bad. “The simple moral fact is that words kill.”  That’s how the Message Bible describes Jesus’ teaching here.   We have all experienced the punch in the stomach of hurtful words, haven’t we? We have wished we were dead when we have been told that someone hated us, or that someone no longer loved us.

      In our world today, the power of words is becoming clearer as we see children committing suicide because of bullying. We are coming to terms with the power of language. It is slapping us in the face.  That’s what Jesus was saying.

      We have all said it, haven’t we? “I hate her.” She’s a liar, a manipulator, a self-centered so-and-so. We shoot daggers with our eyes and spit poison with our words. We are murderers, Jesus says.

       And then here’s what he says to his followers: MAKE IT RIGHT.  It’s really that simple.  MAKE IT RIGHT IN YOUR HEART, and with your actions.  You can’t change that other person. You can’t make her stop lying and manipulating and being self-centered and mean and everything else.  But you can stop hating and being murderous with your thoughts and actions.  Jesus says it is up to you, MAKE IT RIGHT.

      Jesus said, “If you are going to be my disciples, then MAKE IT RIGHT.” He went on to say this: When you see that person walking across the street who is mad at you, and they accost you, MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. Just don’t ignore them, cross the street and make the first move.  Wow, this is hard.

      Jesus does let us off the hook. It is not enough just to stay on our side of the street and ignore the person. Jesus wants us to MAKE THE FIRST MOVE AND MAKE IT RIGHT!  He wants us to walk right across the street to that person who hates us and seek reconciliation.   Oh, gosh, that’s hard.

      It’s hard. I know it’s hard. But it’s real. We need more honesty and integrity in this world. We need more people who want to make peace. Don’t we?   How would you react to this if someone did this to you?

     I turned in some weapons to the police this week. Someone came to The Village and said, “I have some weapons, some knives and some things from a life I want to leave behind. I want to surrender these to the Police. Can I leave them here, pastor?”  YES! That was making the first move to make things right.   That was a powerful move toward making things right.

      For many of us, our weapons are our words.  Most of us don’t’ have physical weapons we need to surrender to the police.  Will we surrender our weapons of hate? Will we say “no more”! I’m not going to participate anymore in the cycles of murderous language and hatred in our community. If I can’t say something kind then I won’t say anything.

       And when and old enemy tries to stir up trouble with me, I am going to do something kind and loving toward that person, because that’s what Jesus would do! That is radical discipleship, my friends.  That is radical love my friends.

      Do you want to have more healthy relationships? Live by these words from Jesus.  Let me tell you a story about it. This is told to me as a true story.

“There is a true story about two farmers in Canada. One day the dog of one farmer got loose and mauled to death the two-year-old child of his neighbor. The devastated father cut off all relationship with his neighbor, and the two men lived in cold, defiant enmity for years. Then one day a fire devastated the property of the dog-owning farmer, destroying his barn and all his equipment. He was unable to plow and plant, and so his future appeared doomed. Except that the next morning he woke up and found all his fields plowed and ready for seed. Upon investigation, he discovered that his grieving neighbor had done this good deed. Humbly the rescued farmer approached his neighbor and asked him if he had plowed his fields -- and, if so, why. The answer was clear: "Aye," the former enemy said. "I plowed your fields so that God can live."” (Story as told by William P. Barker in sermon by Susan R. Andrews, “The Embassy At 66011,” sermonsuite.com.)

That’s radical reconciliation.  We want God to live, my friends. And when we hold hate in our hearts, of any kind, there is no room for God.  I know these are hard words.  They are hard for me too.

      In this scripture Jesus also says that when you come to worship, and you come to make an offering, consider whether you are holding a grudge against anyone first. And if you are, go make peace with that person first. That’s why in many churches there is a symbolic passing of the peace before Holy Communion – to symbolize that we have made peace with anyone we are holding a grudge against.

       I wonder today, if you can think of anyone that you are really mad at? Is there anyone you are not speaking to? I have learned that this is a common practice in many families. People have a fight and they quit talking to one another for a day or a week, or even years. We don’t do that in my family. It’s a foreign concept to me.  But I know this is very real for some of you.  Is there anyone you are not speaking to?  Who really, deep down, you need to be in relationship with?

       We’re going to celebrate Holy Communion today. Before you come take communion today, can you make a promise to yourself and God that later today you will reach out to that person you are not speaking to?
You see, its’ just really hard to love God, while we hold a grudge and refuse to speak to a family member or a good friend. It just does not make sense. God does not hold grudges. Now, again, we can’t control the other person and their actions, but we can take the high ground and reach out in reconciliation. We can be loving, even when they are not, because God’s way is love.

       Jesus calls us to MAKE IT RIGHT in our own hearts and with our own actions. We have the power to do that, when we put our trust in God. God gives us the power to do things that we cannot do on our own.
Picture in your mind, right now, that person who has become your enemy, that person with whom you are angry, and with God’s help, decide right now, to MAKE IT RIGHT.

      Too hard for you to do now?  You have enough power, enough forgiveness, but you need a place telling you that.  Come join us if you are near the corner of Monroe & Central in Toledo, or soon in Maumee. Or, find a community of spiritual strength like the Village.  There are more of us out there.

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