We had a little Halloween fun this week at the start of Cheri’s message. Cheri suggested we tell our neighbor who we would want to dress as for Halloween. I had hoped that my dear wife would want to go as a Star Wars character or something geeky, but no such luck. I did get a good laugh though as she tried to explain what a Flapper was to our band leader.
We then got to watch a great clip from one of my favorite movies, and boy am I getting real on admitting this one, “Must Love Dogs”. Yes, I’m a guy who likes a romantic comedy here and there. If you haven’t seen it, it’s about getting back into the dating scene after having been out of it for a time. Diane Lane (Sarah) is a forty year old school teacher getting back into the game, after a horrible break up, and things are not going well. Sarah goes on a newspaper personals ad date only to find out it is her Dad, lying through his teeth not only about his age but also about not being in a relationship. She even gets talked in putting an ad online by her sister. Then she drives Dad’s one girlfriend (of many) Dolly, home.
As they get to know each other, Dolly shows off her internet profiles. Dolly says “I love this internet, part fantasy, part community, and you get to pay your bills naked” (Yes, we did let the play in worship). Dolly explains to Sarah how she has to get onto more than one site. “You’ve got to get more bets on the table”, Dolly explains, as she shows Sarah her various profiles, some claiming to enjoy antiques, others skydiving and motorcycle riding. Dolly explains that you get to try on some many personalities, be anyone you want to be.
The internet certainly has added a layer of masks we can wear, so says the peaceful guy with a Mafia Wars profile (hey maybe that’s why Cheri said she wanted to be a “Flapper” for Halloween), among other personas and characters online and in video games. And nothing lets you have alternative personas and masks like dating, especially in the internet age. Cheri and I both know that one. Back when we were single, we got to go on lots of blind dates.
I tried blind dates set up by friends, so did she. I tried a newspaper ad or two, some more creative than others “Job not a joke, I’m not quite broke, but my love life’s DOA” (yes, that theme song), was my ad on arriving in Toledo dateless and desperate about 14 or so years ago. But then Memorial Day weekend on 1996, after a date from, well this is a church blog so we’ll stop there, I got talked into putting an Ad on a part of America On Line (yes, the internet existed back in Age of Dinosaurs and before Facebook) called Netgirl. I went so far as to create another screen name so that if I got a stalker out of the deal, well, I’d be ok. Amazingly, I found a woman online who I wanted to meet. After a series of careful moves to ensure we were not about to date an ax murder or similar type, we met. A year and a week later, I married Cheri, the woman who responded to the Ad “Nice Guys Finnish Last, Prove Me Wrong”.
Our Scripture this week was about intimacy, being able to be yourself in the presence of another. Chapter 4 of John’s Gospel tells the story of Jesus and his followers stopping in a town in Symaria. Now, today we think about Samaritans as good folks, The Good Samaritan is held up as an example of a good person in all aspects of culture today, there are even Good Samaritan laws to protect do-gooders. However, back then, Jews looked at Samaritans as the lowest of the low and the feelings were pretty mutual. So, this would be kind of like Jesus and friends passing through Taliban controlled territory in Afghanistan and stopping for a drink.
At the community well, it’s mid day and Jesus meets a local woman. Now, at the time, that would be the last time in the world someone would go to the well. Think middle of the night now. You didn’t go to the well at midday, it was hot, it was dusty, you only went then if you were trying to avoid people. Well, she was. She was not exactly thought of well in the community. And, lo and behold Jesus gets real with her. He talks to her about her five husbands and the man she is living with now. He talks to her about the real him, going so far as to reveal his true nature to her. He and she both put their masks aside and share a deep conversation with each other. And for a moment, real community happens.
Isn’t that we are all looking for now? In person or online, don’t we want a community of people with whom we can relax and be our real selves with. It’s scary to think about letting down our guards, sharing our thoughts, our fears, our dreams. But deep down, it’s what we want. A family, a group of friends, a church where we can be ourselves. It’s what the sociologists tell us is missing in our digital culture and it’s why many of us have left churches and won’t go to others. That feeling that church is NOT a place where we can get real. We have to put on a show, “I’m great” when our heart is broken up, etc. But we long for it.
At the Village, one of our core values is Authenticity, or being real. We always want you to be who you are here. And we are trying to foster connection groups where you can do just that. Not mega church worship celebrations where you slip in, get entertained, and slip out. Real community where you can be you. Where you can share your fears, your hurts and your joys. Where you can unload the baggage we all have.
In worship today, we had a chance to go to a mirror, and start with, quietly or on paper, letting go of what we feel we need to let go of. So try that now, when you log off. Go to a mirror, by yourself and let go of that baggage about whatever the bad things you feel you’ve done or not done. Confession, to us, is not something we feel you need to do to a “priest or pastor”. God knows what we’ve done, but it helps us to let it out. But, when you’ve done that, take things a step further. You see God knows all of the bad we’ve done, but God still loves us, yes, even you, whomever’s voice of doubt just shot up. God loves you and God has a better message than you’re letting through. Go listen for that other voice. You’ll know you’ve got it when you start hearing a message like this “I love you and you’re worthy, special, important to me”. That’s the voice of the God who created you as you, faults, flaws and all. Start hearing that voice a little first, then find out how you can use the gifts and talents you see later, to help others along this path with you.
At the Village, we want you to be you. So, come get real with yourself and others first, and then Connect with the world. There are a whole lot people out there who can only hear that first voice, the one we create with all the negatives. They need to hear that other voice, and that’s one of the ways we can change the world, starting here at the little corner of Monroe & Central in Toledo. Are you ready to put aside your masks, get real and hear that voice? Do you need some help finding it? Either way, we here, every Sunday and beyond. Come join us.
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