PUTTING TOXIC PEOPLE OUT by Crystal Goodnight and Kurt Young

When it comes to training for athletic competition, the support of friends, family, etc. are one of the keys of success. Support on issues like healthy eating, exercise, etc. play a huge role.
Encouragement and support is key to building confidence and leveling off stress for athletes in competitions. It has been shown in studies that players improve their performance in measurable ways simply by having encouraging friends and family.

So why did we talk about that in worship today? This is a church right? The Village has a biking group, a healthy living group, a hiking group, etc? They talk about a balance between taking care of the physical and the spirit, have yoga and martial arts demonstrations in worship once in a blue moon, but this is about God right? Yes, yes it is.

Do you have anyone in your life who brings you down when you talk to them? Who make you want to throw up as soon as your done talking to them? The mere act of talking to them drains you of energy?

Crystal experienced that as she first started to feel the call to ministry. She had to clean up her life. No, She wasn’t much of a drinker, not into drugs, or other bad habits. But she had toxic people in her life. Those who would, instead of supporting her, were instead mocking her in her attempt to walk with God.

She prayed to have God show her the people who were doing this to her. God did and then she broke them down into lists of family, friends, neighbors & co-workers. She then prioritized them, deciding that ones would still be a part of her life. But what Crystal did do was to decide to not let them stop this walk. She had to decide what level of contact would they be allowed to have.

And then she called each of them. Her family, well she would still have them in her life, but those toxic family members were told they would not be allowed to run her life any more. Friends, co-workers & neighbors that were toxic were told I love you, but I am trying to walk closer to God, and I’m not going to be talking to you right now.

One of these folks, we’ll call her Jackie, really stood out. On receiving her call, she called Crystal the “B” word. Crystal thanked her for giving her confirmation and said she would pray for Jackie. Ten years later, some of these folks have called Crystal and thanked her for this. They re-examined their lives and changed, even Jackie.

In worship today we read Mark Chapter 5, Verses 35 to 43. Kurt used The Message Translation (mainly cause our usual bible site doesn’t use any other we do). The story goes as follows:

35While he was still talking, some people came from the leader's house and told him, "Your daughter is dead. Why bother the Teacher any more?"

36Jesus overheard what they were talking about and said to the leader, "Don't listen to them; just trust me."

37-40He permitted no one to go in with him except Peter, James, and John. They entered the leader's house and pushed their way through the gossips looking for a story and neighbors bringing in casseroles. Jesus was abrupt: "Why all this busybody grief and gossip? This child isn't dead; she's sleeping." Provoked to sarcasm, they told him he didn't know what he was talking about.

40-43But when he had sent them all out, he took the child's father and mother, along with his companions, and entered the child's room. He clasped the girl's hand and said, "Talitha koum," which means, "Little girl, get up." At that, she was up and walking around! This girl was twelve years of age. They, of course, were all beside themselves with joy. He gave them strict orders that no one was to know what had taken place in that room. Then he said, "Give her something to eat."

In this lesson from the Bible, Jesus got rid of the toxic people in the room. Some people just throw us off our game. Previously, Crystal was the pastor of Stryker UMC. Styker is where the NWO Regional Corrections Center is. One Sunday she had a man come up full of complaints about the church, about her hair that day, how her son left his bike outside the parsonage. Sometimes, you just have to put these people out of your life.

This does not mean you should throw all the people who say bad things to you, things you don’t want to hear. We need people in Christian love to tell us when we are messing up. But there is a difference between those who are there to help you, and those who just punch you in the stomach.

You know what that feels like, right? Getting the wind completely knocked of you. If you haven’t done it spiritually, you have to have that experience in the physical sense. Crystal told the story of getting the wind knocked out of her on the playground on a teeter totter. But Kurt decided his was even bigger in scale.

Kurt was a high school wrestler. In his senior year, he was wrestling in the Akron City Wrestling Tournament Semi-Finals. He was winning when his opponent lifted him overhead and then slammed him to the mat ala the WWE. Kurt’s Mom was many rows up in a crowded, loud gym and heard the whoosh of every bit of air leave Kurt’s body. Truly the wind knocked out of him.

At Age Twenty- One, Crystal discovered who she is, because of getting those toxic people out of her life. She, like us all are all God’s beloved children. Made in God’s image. Never let anyone tell you different. You are God’s, you are loved and never let anyone take the power to tell you that who you are less than that.

Do you need a place to remind you of that? There are faith communities like ours out there. If you are near the corner of Monroe & Central in Toledo (or soon in Maumee) and need a community like this, join us.