CARRY ON by Pat Groves (with an assist by Patti Lusher)

I had no idea until we were at annual conference that this sermon I am giving today would be part of Cheri’s Sabbath series.  Those of you doing book study on Sabbath know the book talks about a lot of things.  What it is in its entirety is our relationship with God.

Today I’ll talk about when we’re sinking like a stone, and we know God is there.

Hope that is seen is not hope.  But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it in patience.  This is difficult to grasp when we are suffering.  We know all things work together for good.  But we know when the pain gets too deep, it’s easy to lose sight of this fact.

As I was preparing this talk, I immediately thought of the song “Carry On.”  “If you’re lost and alone and you’re sinking like a stone, carry on.”  I’ve heard it a number of times but really didn’t understand what it’s all about.  It ‘s about the end of a relationship.  The singer’s significant other had said they are not right for each other.  He agreed and he was upset and in pain, but realized he needed to move on with his life.  He grieved about the broken relationship and connected with friends and managed to get through and move on.

I have a personal story.  Hillary, our daughter, was pregnant when she was 15.  She did not share this with us for quite some time.  One morning, she asked me to walk with her to school and she gave me a piece of paper that was folded up and told me not to open it until I got home.  I opened it up immediately after she left.   The note said she was pregnant.   I ran home hysterical.  For me, not to be able to fix it was unthinkable.   I couldn’t wrap myself around it.  It was an agonizing time.  We struggled with whether or not to keep this baby.  Hillary was in no way ready to be a parent.   I called Cheri and she spent quite a bit of time with Cindy and me, helping us not to go off the deep end.  She helped us to see that all of us were being graced by God.   Hillary decided to put the baby up for adoption. 

We went to an attorney and with the help of a counselor, Hillary chose a couple from a stack of applicants looking to adopt.   It was two gay men.  We invited them to dinner at our home and we had a great time.  When they left, Hillary said if we were not in this situation and met them, we would want them to be our friends.  They adopted the baby and we have remained close with them.  Now, Hillary’s other daughter loves her sister, who still lives with her dads, and we are all family. 

I love this story – God took broken pieces and made us whole.  Cindy and I had walked the walk of families who are “different.”  Now the baby’s two dads are carrying on with that walk.  We are examples to people of being a “different” family in our society.

However, not all of our stories are so easily seen as beautiful.  Sometimes that remarkable piece is not apparent.  Cindy and I have been together for 38 years and raised a child.  We planned to travel in our retirement, but Cindy’s illness has really put a damper on our plans.  It’s a daily struggle for both of us as we carry on.  We try to figure out what we can do to enjoy the time we have together.  In two weeks, we’re going to visit Hillary and our grandchild, and we’re very excited.  This is the joy, there is nothing more joyous in your life than a grandchild.  We carry on, although it is not always easy.  The scripture today reminds us that God is with us through our suffering and he will never let us go.  We need to remember that in our times of pain, he will lead us beyond that pain into joy.  It’s our responsibility to see it and embrace it.  Sometimes we have to push the pain aside in order to see the joy.

Our culture of courage is all about pain avoidance.  Television tells us again and again, “There is a pill for that.”  We do not want to suffer, we don’t want to be around people who are suffering.  We do not want to be inconvenienced or slowed down.   But, it is important that we embrace each other.  In order to feel the pain, we need to embrace it.

At work, I might ask a friend to go to lunch, but they tell me they have a toothache and couldn’t possibly chew anything.  I tell them they should go to a dentist and have the problem taken care of.  They say, oh, no, that would hurt too much.  So, they continue to suffer every day with the pain and don’t go out with their friends, because getting the pain fixed would hurt too much.  Often, that is how we deal with our emotional pain.  We carry the pain around and we don’t move on. 

How many of you saw the film Lincoln?  It’s incredible.  There’s a beautiful scene where Tad is sleeping by the fire and Abe lays down on the floor, kisses him, and carries him up to bed.  His love and compassion for his children is unbounded.  Now, Abe and Mary’s other son, Willie, had died.  Abe was able to carry on and continue to give his love to Tad, but Mary could not.   Connecting to Tad reminded her of the loss she had experienced.   She denied herself and her boy the joy of love.  One of the things we all know is that love wins.  If we allow ourselves to love, we will experience joy.  Mary missed all that. 

It’s also through our connections with each other that we get through our pain.  Cheri brought me back to the realization that God is there, that things work for good.

Our idea of comfort in our culture, as in a sign at McDonald’s that says “fluent in indulgence,” has only come about in the last couple of generations.  Before that, comfort was not a state of being; it was a state of doing.  It was about giving comfort and embracing your neighbor and those in pain, helping each other through difficult times.  People’s lives were not comfortable and suffering was much more common.

Suffering is a part of real life.  God put us here as beings to be God for each other, to demonstrate God’s love to each other.  If we are willing to embrace our pain, willing to reach out to those around us, we can carry on.  So I want to leave you with a thought today:  when you’re sinking like a stone, carry on.