BELOVED by Cheri Holdridge (with an assist by Kurt Young)

Probably my favorite author in the world is Henri Nouwen.  He was a priest and author of 39 books. After nearly twenty years of teaching at such places as the University of Notre Dame, Yale Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School, he moved to Ontario Canada. For the next ten years he worked at the L’Arche Daybreak community with mentally and physically handicapped people. He provided direct care and was also the pastor for the community until his death in 1996. During his first year at Daybreak Community, Nouwen was paired with one of the core members, Adam Arnett, a young man with profound developmental disabilities. 

          Nouwen spent two hours every morning getting Adam out of bed, bathing him, shaving him, dressing him and feeding him breakfast. Adam could not speak and yet the two formed a deep friendship. Adam was at the center of the family life in the home where he lived. Nouwen called Adam “my friend, my teacher, my spiritual director, my counselor, my minister” (Adam: God’s Beloved By Henri Nouwen, p. 52). 

  

After Adam died, Nouwen wrote a book about their friendship called, Adam: God’s Beloved. Nouwen says that he was transformed by the two hours a day he spent with Adam. He was supposed to be caring for Adam but over time, he said, Adam became the teacher and the one who ministered to Nouwen. Sometimes he would wonder, without the ability to speak, could Adam pray or could Adam think? He realized he was comparing himself to Adam. Then it came to him. Nouwen wrote: Adam “had no ability or need to make any comparisons. He simply lived and by his life invited me to receive his unique gift, wrapped in weakness but given for my transformation…Adam was announcing to me that ‘being is more important than doing.’ While I was preoccupied with the way I was talked about or written about, Adam was quietly telling me [without speaking] that ‘God’s love is more important than the praise of people’….Adam couldn’t produce anything, had no fame to be proud of, couldn’t brag of any award or trophy. But by his very life, he was the most radical witness of the truth of our lives that I have ever encountered” (ibid, pp. 55-56). 

Adam reminded the great spiritual writer Henri Nouwen that we are all God’s beloved children. His vulnerabilities, which are so obvious, invited Henri to pay attention to his own vulnerabilities, which were not so obvious to others but were painfully obvious to Henri. Adam taught Henri that he was God’s beloved child, not for anything he wrote or said or did, but just because he was Henri. 

Henri writes that Adam had the ability to bring out this belovedness in all sorts of people. There were many visitors to the Daybreak community. One day, an unlikely visitor from New York City pulled up in a limousine. A thin woman dressed to the nines popped out. Her name was Cathy. She met with Henri and with Sister Sue Mosteller, the host of Daybreak and she told them she had been under the care of a psychiatrist for years for depression, but she could get no relief. He suggested she visit the Daybreak Community. To make a long story short, the woman was obsessed with comparing herself to others and of course, she always came up short. Even though she was wealthy, had a busy social life and fame, it was never enough. She would read the New York Times and see who was on the guest list at the White House and get depressed because her name was not on the list (ibid. pp. 71-72). 

A picture emerged of a woman who had lost everything. Though she was rich, she felt poor; she was famous but felt insecure. She was great but felt small (ibid, 72).  Nouwen writes that “Sue asked her, ‘Cathy do you believe that you are a good person simply because you are Cathy?’ “Tears came to her eyes. She said, ‘I don’t know. I don’t even know who I am without all the stuff that surrounds me. I don’t know what it would mean if people just loved me simply as Cathy. Would they? I often wonder” (ibid, pp. 72-73).

That night Henri and Sue sent Cathy to have dinner with Adam and the other core members of the Daybreak community and their assistants. Cathy was transformed by this dinner, this experience. After dinner she returned and told Henri that she had a really good time, that she felt cared for and accepted. There was a silly little game one of the men led and she one the prize of a chocolate bar. This wealthy woman was nearly giddy at winning a simple chocolate bar from a man named John. 

Henri writes that he could see by looking into her eyes that she was changed. This was not the same depressed woman who had gone to dinner. When she got home she called to say that her husband noticed a change in her and wanted to hear about what happened to her there. She told Henri, “I do not feel that awful depression that I felt before. Inside of me there is a new sense of God, and of God’s love for me” (ibid, p. 75). 

Years later, Henri presided at the funeral of Cathy. He said that “God blessed Cathy not only in her gifts but also in her poverty, because of her willingness to receive a gift of healing from Henri and a chocolate bar from John.” Nouwen writes: “I don’t know if [her family and friends] could understand what I said, but I wanted to tell everyone that a very poor man had done something miraculous for a very poor woman” (ibid, p. 76).

Again, Adam in his simple vulnerability, helped Cathy get in touch with her vulnerability and humanity. In that simple act, she felt a connection to him, she felt loved. She felt connected to God and she knew herself to be a beloved child of God. 

She knew that she was beloved because we are all beloved. God loves each and every one of us the same – as much as God can love anyone. This is the promise we get in the story of Jesus’ baptism.

John the Baptist was baptizing the people. They were confessing their sins. He was telling them to turn away from their old lives and to turn to God. And then Jesus comes along. We believe him to be the one without sin, and yet even Jesus says to John: “Baptize me. I am one of you. I am vulnerable too. I am human and I need to be washed clean.” I am vulnerable.  So John baptizes him. 

And when he does, the heavens are torn apart and the Holy Spirit comes on him like a dove and a voice comes from heaven: “This is my Son, my beloved, with him I am well pleased.” 

Here is the thing, God says that same thing to every one of us. Every one of us is claimed as God’s beloved child, because we are sons and daughters of God. God loves us. We don’t have to earn that love. The rich don’t get any more of that love than the poor because we all get it. A vulnerable man who can’t speak and can’t dress himself is beloved of God. A rich woman who is filled with self-doubt and fear is beloved of God. A priest and theology professor who deals with depression is beloved of God. You are beloved of God.

What holds you back? What holds you back from believing that you are beloved? What makes you feel unloved? Are you not smart enough? Are you not compassionate enough? Are you not generous enough to be deserving of God’s love? Perhaps you are not kind enough. What makes you think that you are so much worse that everyone else on the planet, that God would single you out as the one person on the planet not to love.         

It is God’s nature to love. God can’t keep from loving us. So, hear the good news. You are God’s beloved child. Nothing can separate you from God’s love for you. Nothing. So receive God’s love and be thankful. Amen.