We All Need Some Light by Cheri Holdridge (with an assist by Kurt Young)

    Did you know that about 3% of the population suffers from Bi-Polar Disorder, also known as Manic Depressive Illness? Odds are that’s one or two people in this room. It is characterized by periods of mania or elevated mood, followed by periods of deep depression where the person may not be able to get out of bed.

     I say that 3% have the illness but more are affected: their family, friends, employers, classmates and many more. Village ARTS, our Revolutionary Theatre Society decided to do the production Next to Normal, which is about a woman who has bi-polar disorder, in order to bring attention to mental illness and how it affects family systems. (Our show is next weekend, and you can still buy tickets for the Saturday matinee, but the evening shows are sold out.)

    In the show, Diana struggles with her illness and we see how it effects everyone around her.  She tries one drug therapy after another. She even tries electro-shock therapy. Nothing seems to work for more than a few weeks. She is the extreme case of someone who walks in darkness, seeking light. But we all need some light, don’t we?

    Beyond bi-polar disorder, more people in our country deal with chronic depression. About 1 in 5 people with have one major depressive episode in our life time, also known as clinical depression. That would be 8 or 12 people in this room. Symptoms include:
·    Very low mood,
·    an inability to experience pleasure in activities that were formerly enjoyed
·    thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt or regret, helplessness, hopelessness, and self-hatred.
·     poor concentration and
·    reduced sex drive,
·    thoughts of death or suicide.
·     Insomnia
·    or oversleeping,
A major depressive episode is characterized by the presence of a severely depressed mood that persists for at least two weeks, often much, much longer.

    Depression, like bi-polar disorder, affects not only the one with depression, but those around the person. If my mother or my husband or my boss is depressed, it affects me, right?

    Clinical depression can be treated with medication and with psychotherapy. It is caused by a chemical imbalance and medication can help. I take antidepressants for depression and I would not try to live without them. I have gone through several major depressive episodes in my life and antidepressants help me manage my depression and be a functioning human being. I am grateful for medical science and the strides they have made in dealing with depression.

    There is another kind of depression that is not necessarily caused by a chemical imbalance. It is just plain old situational depression. I don’t know anyone who is immune from this kind of depression. Something bad happens and we get depressed. Your relationship ends, you get depressed. Your parent dies, you grieve and you are depressed. You move, and you lose all of your friends and you get depressed. Any major life change involves loss and can lead to what we call situational depression. We probably don’t need medication at these times. A counselor or therapist might help. But what we need is hope. This is where Jesus comes in.

    I would like to invite my friend Erin Moran Wiley to come forward and share a story about her own situational depression. Erin happens to be the actress who plays the Diana in the show Next to Normal.

Erin, can you tell me about a time when you were stumbling around the in darkness of depression?

ERIN:  Fifteen years go, I came home from New York City, after going there temporarily as an actress. My husband and I were trying to get pregnant, and I got pregnant. Lots of other personal stuff was going on. I had a group of friends and all six friends all going to have babies within a few weeks of each other. I was overjoyed.

Then I had a miscarriage. My husband and I had put all our hopes and dreams into having a family. I spent a year being clinically depressed. I kept looking for ways to feel better. I was not finding it in traditional ways; my friends and my husband did not understand. I went looking for support with an on line community of others who had gone through a miscarriage. I still felt so empty. I felt alone. I was in my basement in the middle of the night; It was the darkest time of my life. I was throwing a spiritual temper tantrum.  I quit talking to and relating to God. 

One night, I was so alone again, but I had some sort of supernatural experience. I was 10 feet behind myself and I could see myself from behind sitting at my computer; Jesus was kneeling next to me sobbing next to me. I was not grieving alone; Jesus was grieving with me. I did not feel so alone anymore; God was grieving with me, not just walking with me.  The heaviness was lifted. I felt more hopeful; it was a turning point in my grieving; I felt not so alone and lonely.

 I felt the presence of Christ, not just around me, but in my emotions. The sadness didn’t go completely away, but it became more manageable.  With the help of therapy and medications and this, I got through this. 

Erin had been walking in deep darkness, deep depression.  She needed some light. We all go through times when we need some light. Jesus came to her and reminded her that she was not alone, he was grieving with her. He lifted some of her burden from her and said, “I will cry with you. You are not alone.”

    One day Jesus was teaching a group of people (for those following along on the net, John 8:12-19) and he said:  “I am the world’s Light. No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in.” This is the promise Jesus gives to us, both to those with clinical depression and to those with situational depression.

    We don’t have to stumble around in the darkness of our depression. Jesus provides plenty of light. Jesus is our light. That does not mean we don’t use the tools of medical science: medication and therapy, but as followers of Jesus we have something more. We have the light of Jesus.

    So how does Jesus bring light to our darkness? For Erin it was a clear sign. She had a supernatural vision of Jesus sitting with her and crying with her. This gave her comfort to know she was not alone in her grief. That was enough to pull her out of her grief and begin to move forward with her life.

    Sometimes when I am slipping into a depression, I have to remind myself that I have had better days, and I will see them again. I remember that God loves me and God has not abandoned me. I remember that even though I may feel depressed that I never stay in my depression forever. I have had days of joy and happiness and laughter and so I hold onto that as an image of the light and of hope.

    Sometimes Jesus sends us helpers, helpers filled with light, to help pull us out of our depression. A good friend comes along to remind us how much they love us, they care  about us. It’s hard to feel loveable when we are depressed. But when another person loves us they are being the light of Jesus for us.  They pour light into our lives.

    When I am talking to someone who is depressed I often ask: what brings you joy? Do you remember something that brings you joy? It is hard when you are buried in darkness, to focus on the light, but we can do it. We know that there are things that bring us joy: the smile of our grandchildren, or fresh flowers, or reading a good book, watching a funny movie or taking a walk. \

    As buried in the darkness of depression as we may be, if we can do one of those things, we are choosing to step into the light.  When we spend time with those who bring us joy or find the energy to take a walk we are making a choice to step out of the depression and darkness and step into the light.

    We all need some light. Jesus is our light. When we are depressed we can turn to him. We can turn to Jesus in prayer, and pour out our hearts. Jesus wants to listen. Jesus wants to take away our darkness and bring us into the light.

    Jesus promised us that he would be our light. He said, “I provide plenty of light to live in.” So our question is this. Will we live in that light? Whether or not our darkness is chemical or situational, we have tools available to us. We can step into the light.

    So, will we put our trust in Jesus? When we find ourselves walking in the darkness, will we choose the light? The light is always with us. Jesus always stands ready to shine in our lives: to comfort us, to strengthen us, to give us clarity, to give us joy. We only have to ask.

    So will you step into the light today? We all need some light. Jesus is the light of the world. So step into the light that never goes out. Receive the light of Jesus, and let the light shine in you. Amen.