Sunday, October 23, 2016

The Pharisee In Me by Hafidha Saadiqah (with an assist by Patti Lusher)




9Jesus also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: 10“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.’ 13But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.”

         What a jerk!  Seriously!  But, I get his point.  I don’t do the stuff he mentioned, and I don’t abuse drugs, cheat on my spouse, abuse my children, lie on my tax return, and I haven’t robbed or defrauded anybody.  Isn’t that the point of the Christian life, that we sin less and less; that our lives are guided by God’s transformative ethic of truth and justice? And a hard, radical love.  Indeed, it is.  But the Christian life is more complicated than we think.  Confessing faith in the God of Jesus of Nazareth and living into our baptismal vows of turning away from sin are essential.  But, the knottier work that we will be doing until the day we die - after the confession is made and the water wiped from our head -  is attending to our shadow selves. 

         Shadow selves?  What’s that?  Some in the Church call it our “sin-nature.”  Others, “human nature.”  Still others, the Devil.  Here’s another image to work with.  The American author and activist, Robert Bly describes shadow as those aspects of ourselves that we find embarrassing, disgraceful, and achingly brittle; things like our temper, our jealousy, our conceit.  These are traits we like to think that are not part of us, or that we have overcome them.  If this last description offers more clarity, then you’ve just confirmed scripture when it says: “the children of the world are wiser than the children of the light.”  Be that as it may, our shadow informs how we see ourselves and how we present ourselves to others.  They have direct bearing on our choice of words and action.  And they can contribute to the quality of our lives and the health and longevity of every community of which we are a part.

         Where did our shadow-self come from?  Our families of origin.  Our culture.  And institutions like this one.  We’ve all learned and internalized them; how we can be pleasing, how to be acceptable. Our shadow came into being when as a child someone said we were too noisy.  Or, as an adult when we were told that we were bossy, touchy, bitter, cruel, an attention whore.  So, we spend all our time ignoring, denying, or covering it up.  And, it’s in religious contexts like ours where we try to pray this shadow stuff out of us, and be extra, extra nice and mindful to be on our P’s and Q’s.  Not a bad idea, but this is also the space that can feed our shadow self. But it can also help us come to grips with that side of ourselves we need to work on. Hence, the story of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector. 

         The Pharisee: a blue-collar Jew.  A rule-follower.  Strict prayer life and attendance at the synagogue.  Very clear about wicked people being
punished, and righteous people being rewarded in the afterlife.  The Tax Collector: could be a Jew or a Gentile.  Middle- to upper-middle class. 
Made his living collecting taxes and fines for the occupying Roman government.  If Jewish, not a synagogue attender because of his employment. The Pharisee.  Self-righteous?  Yes, hands down.  The Tax Collector.  Self-righteous?  I’m sure at some point in his life he was.  But, here he’s just honest about who he was.  Brittle.  Broken.  An opportunist.  Sometimes delusional, if not demented. 

         Now, this is where biblical interpretation is not so clear.  I refuse to choose between the two.  I will not name the Tax Collector as the “hero” of this story because I know that just as there is a Tax Collector in me, there is also a Pharisee in me.  And, the two extremes of being a Tax Collector and a Pharisee are within me, too.  The colluding Tax Collector, and the penitent, humble Tax Collector.  The holier-than-thou Pharisee, and the desiring-to-follow-after-God, the trying-to-get-it-right Pharisee.  And all four are in you, too.  In this church and in the Church universal.  

         The word shadow may not have been in Luke’s mind when he penned his gospel, but the idea of that human dilemma was definitely there.  As Luke gives his accounting of the ministry of Jesus, he emphasizes the Kingdom of God; this wide open, alternative, culturally and spiritually revolutionary real-time community.  In the preceding passages he warns of the threat to the witness and survivability of this society: threats from outside of it, like the Roman government.  But, he also warns of threats from within, like the Messianic Pharisees who thought life in this new community was all about dos and don’ts; comparisons and contrasting.  So, Luke includes Jesus’ warning about:
*being extra vigilant in caregiving and offering mutual support,
*the need to be prayerful for one another, always,
*keeping the faith during times of disruption and chaos, and,
*the critical importance of being persistent in advocating for
         justice and equity – fairness

“Hold on” is one message I hear him saying in this text.  “Don’t fall apart.  Don’t let your shadow selves destabilize everything that the Spirit of God has given birth to through you.”  Don’t let jealousy, selfishness, possessiveness, anger, lack of initiative, timidity, and grand-standing destroy the community.  Even so, God’s intentions will not be derailed. What’s that verse, “…don’t think more highly of ourselves than you ought.”  Life in Christ is not a competition; it’s not about any one of us.  It’s about all of us.

         So, what’s the good news in this text?  What can we do with this constant struggle between the Pharisee and Tax Collector in each of us?  What can we take with us into this new week full of promise and possibility?  First, come to realize that resolving to rub out forever the vicious, selfish, and reptilian aspects of ourselves is a futile course to pursue.  Why?  Because we are fighting against ourselves, and sometimes we are our worst enemies.  We won’t win.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I do believe in the transformative power of the Holy Spirit, but I also believe that our wrestling with the flesh will not end until we leave this earth.  Even so, God’s work continues now.  We are part of the Church of Jesus Christ – the Church Militant; the community of believers who have not left this earth yet, but carry on God’s work of reconciliation.  We are human beings with every frailty and limitation you could possibly name.  Yet, God uses us just as we are to do incredible things that bring life and joy and hope.  So, sinner we are, sinners saved by grace.  This ministry belongs to God.  God is in control, yet we are blessed to be a central part of it.  Even in most problematic moments, God still chooses to use us.  So, let’s take the high road and live into the worst parts ourselves.  None of us are finished products. 

         The second piece of good news we can take from this text is sitting next to you.  The person on your left and your right; the ones before you and behind you.  How ironic; the place that can incite our spiritual bigotry and acting out can also be the place to bring about our spiritual maturity and awareness.  We all need a small host of friends who will help us own our shadow self; to help us hear what they can teach us.  Maybe that’s why we don’t become instantly sinless at our confession of faith and baptism.  What better teacher can we have in brokenness?  What a way to learn how to hold these two parts of ourselves in tension, to take responsibility for our actions, make peace with them, and allow the Holy Spirit to unleash in us our untapped talents and gifts; that there is power in gentleness and meekness!

         Many Unitarian Universalist congregations sing a hymn at the beginning of service inspired by Rumi, the 13the century Persian poet, Islamic scholar, and Sufi mystic.  It goes like this:
Come, come, whoever you are:
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving!
Ours is no caravan of despair; come, yet again, come.
Though you’ve broken your vow a thousand times,
broken your vow a thousand times.
Come, yet again, come.
Come to this place because you are welcome.  Come to this place because we are all wrestling with the Pharisee and Tax Collector inside of us.  Come because your stories of defeat and victory, gifts and strengths, as well as your faults and foibles, can inspire and teach and build up someone else where they are weak.  Come to this place because you’ve broken your baptismal vows one thousand times since last we gathered.  Come to this place because our stock in trade is grace.  Come, just as you are, and expecting more.  Just come!

RESPONSE
Sing with me if you know this song:
Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me.
Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me.
Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me.
Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me.
                 

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