“FORGIVENESS” by Cheri Holdridge (with an assist by Kurt Young)

     You just heard a brief scripture that is the end of the story of Joseph and his brothers from the book of Genesis (Genesis 50:15-21 from the Message Translation for those following along on the web). Perhaps you know the whole story if you have read Genesis, or you grew up in Sunday School. Or maybe you have seen the fun musical, “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” Joseph was one of many sons on Jacob and Rebekah. Joseph’s older brothers, who were half brothers who did not like him. He was Mom’s favorite.  Dad gave him this great coat.  There was lots of sibling rivalry. One day, they threw him down a well.

     They thought about killing him, but one of the older brothers, “the reasonable one”, being reasonable, convinced the others, just to sell him into slavery to some traveling traders that came by. They told their parents he was killed by wild animals. Joseph went to Egypt and being an enterprising young man, who convinced the Pharaoh he could divine the meaning of dreams, made himself indispensible to the Pharaoh. A famine hit the land, a famine Joseph had predicted, and he put himself in charge of stocking up provisions so the people would not die, and passing out food to the people.

       Joseph’s brothers traveled from their far away home. Long story short, they asked their brother for food, not knowing he was their brother. They didn’t initially recognize him, but he recognized them, and after playing with them a little, he revealed himself to them.  When they realized he was their brother, they figured he would hold a grudge and let them starve to death.

      But he did not. He had a kind place in his heart for his parents, and his baby brother, and he forgave his older brothers with these words: You planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear.  I'll take care of you and your children.”

       You planned evil, but God used those plans for good, easy now, you have nothing to fear, I’ll take care of you.  These are words to live by, by my friends. These are words that say simply: “I forgive you.” No matter what horrible, evil thing you have done to me, I have a choice. I can live my life being eaten up by hatred, caused by your evil actions, OR I can put my trust in God. I can leave you to God, and let my live be filled with love and forgiveness for you, and get on with my life, and that is what I choose. You see if we want healthy relationships we choose forgiveness. Now, this does not mean we allow ourselves to stay in relationships with people that walk all over us. But it does mean, that we do not allow ourselves to wallow in our anger. We move on. And we ask God to so fill us with love, that there is no room left for hatred and anger.

       Because you see when people are truly evil, and they hurt us, it is really their problem. Something is wrong with them. They are hurting, and broken. Usually their actions are based in wrong thinking or ignorance, because they have been hurt themselves. They are to be pitied. But it is not our place to judge. We leave them to God.

        Let me use this story, from history, as an example.  Back in 1963, in Birmingham, Alabama, four white men, were enraged, because the world was changing around them. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his colleagues were using Birmingham as a major base of operations for the movement to end racial segregation. The integration of the schools had just begun. Birmingham had earned the name “Bombingham” because of the activity of the Ku Klux Klan there. Governor George Wallace was doing everything he could to block the integration of the schools. He told the “New York Times that a “few first-class funerals” would stop integration in his state, and the Klan apparently agreed with the governor.” (http://www.newsinhistory.com/blog/% E2%80%98oh-god- they-bombed-our-church%E2%80%99)


       So on September 15, 1963, four Klan members placed a box of dynamite under the church steps of the Sixteenth Street Baptist Church steps. That day, twenty-six children were attending Sunday school class in the basement at the church, centered on the day’s sermon: “The Love That Forgives.”   Isn’t that ironic When the bomb exploded,   four girls were killed: Addie Mae Collins, Carole Robertson and Cynthia Wesley, all 14, and Denise McNair, 11. It was the deadliest single act of terror of the civil rights movement. Two other young men lost their lives that day in related acts of violence to bring the total loss of lives to 6.

        A news report from the day says that as soon as they started carrying the bodies of the girls out of the wreckage, predictably there was chaos, and people were angry, they started shouting words of hate. The Rev. Charles Billips and the church pastor, the Rev. John Cross, got on police megaphones. Cross began the Lord’s prayer: “Our Father, Who art in heaven…”  “Go home and pray for the men who did this evil deed,” said Billips. “We must have love in our hearts for these men.” (http://www.newsinhistory.com/blog/%E2% 80%98oh-god-they-bombed-our-church%E2%80%99).  Can you imagine having the peace of mind to say that?

       Dr. King came right away from Atlanta. He urged the federal government to intervene to protect the people of Birmingham from further violence and as always, he called upon the people in his movement to work for justice using non-violent means. King was a follower of Jesus with deep convictions that we must work for justice, and do so with love in our hearts, even for those who hurt us. He was adamant that we must never use violence.

       He preached at the funeral for three of the little girls, (one had a separate funeral service).  In his eulogy, Dr. King was clear, as always, that followers of Jesus must take the higher ground in the face of hatred. He knew that it was only a matter of time before the laws of our nation would change, the schools would be integrated, and the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965 would be passed. Of course, we still have a long way to go in dealing with systems of racism and oppression, but we gained some essential legal victories during those days, and the hearts and minds of many American people turned during that time.

       But it was a hard fight, some of you remember it more clearly than the rest of us. And it took leaders and followers with a strong moral compass. And it took compassion and forgiveness. You see, in an argument, there ARE sometimes people who are right and people who are wrong. Sometimes we fight over things that are a matter of opinion, like whether or not a movie was good, right?  Nobody is right or wrong.  But some things really are evil, without question.

        But it takes time for a group of people, a community, or a nation, to come upon an agreement over that. And still there will always be some who disagree.   And so Dr. King and others like him had to step forward, 50 years ago, had to be the leaders who will say: “we must stand by our principles and fight for justice, but we must not be swallowed up by our anger.”

      We are followers of Jesus. We are people of love. And people of love find the strength to forgive. We understand that our enemies are ignorant. They are wrong, but they will come to see that they are wrong, one by one, family by family, as we pass laws, as we change hearts and minds, and as we take the higher ground, they will see the error of their ways, they will see the error of their ways.

      At the funeral for those little girls Dr. King said this: “They did not die in vain. God still has a way of wringing good out of evil. . . . “The spilled blood of these innocent girls may cause the whole citizenry of Birmingham to transform the negative extremes of a dark past into the positive extremes of a bright future. Indeed this tragic event may cause the white South to come to terms with its conscience. . . .“In spite of the darkness of this hour, we must not despair. We must not become bitter, nor must we harbor the desire to retaliate with violence. No, we must not lose faith in our white brothers.  Somehow we must believe that the most misguided among them can learn to respect the dignity and the worth of all human personality.” (http://www.english.illinois.edu/maps/poets/m_r/randall/ birmingham.htm)

      If you had been a black person living in the South back in September 1963, would you have been able to forgive, and keep working peacefully for justice? I won’t ask you to put yourself in the shoes of the family of those four little girls; that would be too hard. Just imagine that you lived in Birmingham. Could you be like Jesus and have enough love in your heart, to have pity on those bigoted, Ku Klux Klan members, who really did not know any better? Could you forgive them? It’s hard; I know. But having hate in our hearts does not help anyone. Those men were criminals and they deserved to go to prison, but they were also caught up in a system that was way bigger than them. And loving Christian people understand that God can take a horrible, tragic, evil situation, and use it for good.

       That awful, awful tragedy in Birmingham was a turning point. It was a day that shocked the world. It uncovered the ugliness of racism, and segregation, and the remnants of slavery that we thought we had overcome with the Civil War but, my friends those remnants were still with us in 1963, and they are still with us today. And no one believes it was a good thing that those little girls died, but we can be bold to forgive the men who set that bomb because it is the way of Jesus to forgive.

          Well this week in Toledo, we have another situation that invites bold forgiveness. Our battle is not the same as the battle for freedom from racial oppression. But it is another fight against bigotry.
This week, a billboard went up, actually 9 of them, by a local mega church, that says: “Being gay is NOT a gift from God, Forgiveness, Love and Eternal Life are.” A mega church put these up in response to one billboard put up by our sister church, Central United Methodist Church, that said, “we believe being gay is a gift from God.” They were trying to make the point people are created gay and that creation is a gift and so whether we are created gay or straight it’s all part of God’s good creation.  Creation is a blessing from God.

         The pastor of the mega church thinks this message is not the truth so his church put up the other billboard. He wrote on his blog that he has never met gay person who could look him in the eye and say they were happy to be gay. So now the debate is going on the internet, the TV news, etc. A bunch of folks planned to get dressed up in their Sunday best clothes and go hold up signs near the entrance of the mega church today that said: “I’m gay and happy to be gay!” They wanted him to know they are happy and healthy and Christian and Gay.

      Now it would be easy for us to get angry. It would be easy for that protest today to have gotten ugly. That was not the plan, and so I pray that did not happen. But there was a time in this world, when well-intentioned Christian people were on the wrong side of the argument of whether or not black people are of the same value to God as white people.  Well intentioned people were on the wrong side of that argument. 

       Today, some people think that gay people are going to Hell, unless they change their ways. I am sad for those people, because they are misguided and ignorant. The world is changing around them. They grew up in another time and now they must adjust. We used to think gay folks were deviant. And now we know you are beloved children of God just like the rest of us.   We know that to be true, I know that to be true.

       And by the way the bigots are beloved children of God too. So as followers of Jesus, we are called to forgive them, and love them, and to pray that one day, they will get this one right.  Not to just be eaten up by hate.  We can pray to God for them to be changed, to be on the right side of this, or to judge them.

       Joseph said to his brothers: You threw me into a well. You meant it for evil. But now my people are starving and I am in a position to feed all of you. You meant it for evil, but the joke’s on you. God has turned your evil into good. I forgive you.

         May God fill us with love, so that we are bold to forgive, so there is no more room to hate, and so that they can be in a position to love some day too. Amen.

“Healthy Relationships: Sibling Rivalry” by Cheri Holdridge (with an assist by Kurt Young)

Ever have a sibling? Raise a set of siblings? Get into a competition with child your own age? If not, feel free to fall asleep this morning or skip this blog. When I was in the 9^th grade, I was in competition with Jimmy Martinez over who would get to be Editor of the Jr. High newspaper. I wrote a great editorial , with meat and substance and edge. Jimmy wrote about graffiti and was trying to get in good with the teacher.

When he won, I held it against him all through Jr. High and High School. I avoided him like the plague, because I was holding a grudge. And in the process I deprived myself of the chance to be his friend. He never knew it.

A few years ago we became friends on Facebook. I figured I could get over it after these decades. Suddenly I discovered we care about all the same things. We had the same likes and dislikes. In fact, he has been a huge fan of the Village from far away in Abilene, Texas.

Thirty years later, I was invited as one of Jimmy’s circle of close friends, at a party at his house, on the weekend of our 30 year high school reunion, I made my confession. We had a big laugh about it. I was the one who had lost out. Of course Jimmy forgave me. He never knew I had been mad at him all those years.

I like Jimmy so much now. And now I look back and I wonder what did I miss in all those years that we could have been friends? I feel so silly now for all those wasted years. I feel ashamed of myself. How could I have been so petty?

You see I did not think there was enough Jr. High status to go around. Jimmy got the status of being the newspaper editor and I wanted that status and recognition. Never mind that I was still on the newspaper staff. There were plenty of other things for me to do in Jr. High. And it appears that I turned out ok. At the time, it was the most important thing in the world.

As a mature adult now, I really try to celebrate each individual person, and recognize that we all have different gifts and every gift is of value. We don’t all have to be the star! But back there in 9^th grade I had a small view of things. And so I could not be happy for Jimmy when he got the job that I wanted for myself. I didn’t think there was enough recognition to go around. I wanted a piece of it, and Jimmy got my piece!

I think a sense of there “not being enough” is at the heart of so many problems in otherwise healthy relationships. We fight over stuff and power and status. But Jesus tells us over and over again, that those are not the things that will bring us joy. A friend who will be there for you when it’s not convenient and love that is tenacious when life gets ugly: that is what brings us joy. There is always enough love and compassion to go around, because God is love and God gives us the capacity to love. We just have to do it for each other.

But we are human beings. We don’t think there is enough love, and so we get caught in rivalry and competition about stuff and status. Has this ever cause you problems in your relationships? So we come to the story of Jacob & Esau. They were the twins of Isaac and Rebekah, here’s the way the Message tells it (Genesis 25:19-34 for those following along from afar):

^21-23 Isaac prayed hard to God for his wife because she was barren. God answered his prayer and Rebekah became pregnant. But the children tumbled and kicked inside her so much that she said, "If this is the way it's going to be, why go on living?" She went to God to find out what was going on. God told her,

Two nations are in your womb,
two peoples butting heads while still in your body.
One people will overpower the other,
and the older will serve the younger.

^24-26 When her time to give birth came, sure enough, there were twins in her womb. The first came out reddish, as if snugly wrapped in a hairy blanket; they named him Esau (Hairy). His brother followed, his fist clutched tight to Esau's heel; they named him Jacob (Heel). Isaac was sixty years old when they were born.

^27-28 The boys grew up. Esau became an expert hunter, an outdoorsman. Jacob was a quiet man preferring life indoors among the tents. Isaac loved Esau because he loved his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

^29-30 One day Jacob was cooking a stew. Esau came in from the field, starved. Esau said to Jacob, "Give me some of that red stew—I'm starved!" That's how he came to be called Edom (Red).

³¹ Jacob said, "Make me a trade: my stew for your rights as the firstborn."

³² Esau said, "I'm starving! What good is a birthright if I'm dead?"

^33-34 Jacob said, "First, swear to me." And he did it. On oath Esau traded away his rights as the firstborn. Jacob gave him bread and the stew of lentils. He ate and drank, got up and left. That's how Esau shrugged off his rights as the firstborn.

Both brothers thought there was not enough to go around. Esau was really short sighted; he was hungry and could not think about anything but his next meal. How often do we make decisions for instant gratification? (But that’s another sermon for another day.).

Jacob was all about the power, at the expense of family. He was all about himself. He had no comprehension that somehow there was enough love and blessing to go around, so he was constantly tricking his brother out of what was rightfully his, as the firstborn.

Well, we didn’t read this part today, but there is another story where Jacob tricks Esau out of the father’s deathbed blessing, which was huge. Jacob finally has to flee the country because of all the terrible things he has done to his brother Esau. Many years later, after Jacob has married, and has children, and has herds of animals (which tell us that he has not fallen into financial ruin) he returns to his homeland. But he is scared. He is afraid that Esau is going to kill him after all the horrible things he has done. And honestly, who wouldn’t blame.

But guess what happens? Jacob has a sleepless night, wrestling with God as he reflects on what he has done with his life. But the next morning, Esau greets him with open arms. Jacob is ready to give half his possessions to Esau in the hopes that Esau will not kill him, and Esau says: “O brother, I have plenty of everything, keep what is yours for yourself.”

That dear Esau! The brother who was cheated out of everything by the conniving younger brother Jacob, could have been bitter, but instead, he welcomes his brother with open arms. He is the hero of the story. There is not a competitive bone is Esau’s body. “We have plenty,” says Esau. There is always enough love to go around, (and there are enough sheep, and goats too.)

Can you imagine walking up to someone that you have been rivals with for your whole life, and suddenly one day, all that rivalry is just gone, and you can relax, and just care about one another and be thankful for the blessing of each other?

That’s what it means to be in a mature, healthy relationship. It is hard. We can do this for one another: every one of us. We can’t control all the people out there, but we can be a model for them what it means to believe that there is enough love and compassion to go around.

Esau is our model for today. If Esau can do it, we can do it too. Jimmy Martinez taught me the lesson. I have been holding that silly grudge against him for more than 30 years, being mad at him for getting the Editor’s position when I think it should have been mine. It is what it is. Jimmy is a good person, and so am I. There could only be one editor. Jimmy got the job. I am the one who chose to be angry. Kurt said for awhile, “let go of it already. So he was the editor”.

But here is the thing, the anger just hurt me. It did not hurt Jimmy because he never even knew about it. And even if he had known, anger based in competition is just an ugly thing. We all have gifts. Why not just celebrate gifts in one another and be happy for another person? Wouldn’t that be something!

So, my friends, we have a choice in our relationships, and in our outlook on the world. We can choose to believe there is not enough to go around: not enough stuff, not enough status and recognition, and we can be resentful when someone else gets what we want.

Or we can chose to believe there is enough. That God give us enough. We can celebrate the victories and the gifts of others. And trust that there is also enough blessing for us too. Imagine trusting that there is enough blessings for us all.

So, what will you do? In response to this sermon I want to give you a chance to talk to someone about this, and to pray a simple prayer for one another if you will. This is going to take a little work, but find someone to talk to about this. Here’s what to do – Share a situation when you have felt competitive or jealous and it got in the way of a relationship, and when you are done share with each other. Then I want you to pray for each other, here’s a sample of what to say: God help (PERSON YOU ARE WITH’s NAME) let go of the need to compete and to know your love is enough. Amen.

"Healthy Relationships: Good Boundaries" by Cheri Holdridge (with an assist by Kurt Young)

I tend to be a fairly kind person, gentle, easy going. You might even say I am a push over. But something happens every few years when Kurt and I decide to trade in one of our cars. I get kind of mean. Generally I am not a tough negotiator. I cannot haggle for a price at a flea market, but when it comes to a car dealer, something just comes over me.  I get to be not nice. One time in particular, I remember there was this car. I had decided which car I wanted. I had a good trade in with a good value. I had decided what I wanted to pay for the new car. There were several dealers in town where I could buy the car. I went in to talk to a sales guy. And you know what he did. He took my car and had their trade in guy take mine for a test drive and told me what they would give me for a trade. And then he told me he was giving me the best possible price for the car I wanted to buy. He kept going back and forth to his manager. You know the drill. I finally said, “Please give me my keys back. I’m not buying the car today.” I took my keys and I walked out.

And I felt so powerful. Because here is the thing. I had the money for the down payment. I had the loan through my credit union. I wanted the car, but I did not have to buy it. I could walk away. Because I was not going to let him manipulate me into paying more than I wanted, just because HE told me it was a good deal.

I have never felt so powerful, because I did not let that salesman tell me what to pay, or when, to buy my car. It was MY choice. I did not let him have control over MY life. Because you see I was the one with the money. I had something HE wanted. He wanted to make the sale.

I owed him nothing. And so I walked away. I did not have to explain, justify or defend my choice to that guy. I ended up buying the car a few days later at another dealer and getting the deal I wanted, by the way. Now that is a story about an interaction with someone, a car salesman. I had next to nothing invested in that relationship. I’ll grant you that. So it was fairly easy to walk away.

Today we’re going to talk about relationships that are important to us: our partners, our parents and children, our close friends, our co-workers, and friends here at The Village. We’re talking about healthy relationships and today we want to just scratch the surface with the concept of good boundaries in healthy relationships.

Now I am not a psycho-therapist, nor a licensed counselor, so if you think you might need one of those, I’ll help you find one, I will be happy to help you with that. I believe in therapy. I have learned a great deal in therapy.  But I am a pastor, who has had some conversations with folks who are struggling with relationships with people they care about, and so I have learned a few things.   I have conversations with people every week about bad relationships, trust me.
I have learned that many people get tied up in knots trying to make choices that will please all the people in our lives. We end up looking, AND FEELING, like pretzels. I think it starts when we are young adults, trying to figure out how to grow up and relate to our parents as adults instead of children.  Some of us never get past that one. And then all our relationships for the rest of our lives are affected by that one.

You see, one of the biggest challenges to relationships is that we don’t have good boundaries. We don’t know how to pay attention to our own internal feelings, and to value ourselves. We get pulled to and fro by this person and that person and what they say is best for us, and what they want from us. Just like that car dealer who tried to convince me that he had the best car deal for me, our mothers will tell us that they know what is best for us, even when we are 40 years old and we can make our own decisions. Our friends will tell us what we should do, even when we do not ask for their advice. If we ask for advice that is one thing, but some people want to control us, who we see, where we go, because they are insecure, and they need to be with us all the time. There are all kinds of reasons why relationships get unhealthy.

So a friend taught me a phrase to use, (with myself) when I feel like I am being controlled by someone else, or I am having trouble keeping boundaries in a relationship. Here it is: I don’t have to explain, justify or defend my choices.
So let’s try it out. One example I can think of, about a time when folks get caught in the pull of the family dynamics is this: where will we go for Christmas dinner? This is a hard one, especially if you have a partner, and children, and you both still have parents that are living. Or it’s hard if either one of your parents don’t like your partner, for any reason. Some of us have partners that aren’t welcome in our parents’ home, and that’s not acceptable. And so every year, the conversations begin.

If you are in this situation, I would encourage you to try this. First of all, find a quiet place, apart from all the voices of people who are fighting over you, you know the ones that are pulling you (like the wishbone on the Christmas turkey). Dig deep down in your soul, and find your truth. Where would YOU like to be on Christmas day? And with whom? Picture it.   NO, you don’t get Tahiti with the cute guy or girl as choice.

Now, you can only control yourself. But you can decide not to go some places. And here is the thing, here is the mantra, you do not have to explain, defend or justify your choice. You can just say: I’m going to do this for Christmas this year; it’s what I want to do. And just stop.  Be silent.

“But you always do this.” “Well that’s not going to work for me this year. I’m going to do this.” You see one of the things we know about family systems, and healthy behavior, is that when one person gets healthy and starts setting healthy boundaries, the rest of the system eventually has to react. And often the rest of the people start getting healthy too. And in any case, you get to do what you want to do for once.

The point is, you have to sit down, in the quiet, and find your truth. What do YOU want, and then you have to speak that truth. And don’t explain, justify or defend your choice.  You are living in your peace, your center, your truth, your choice.

And here is why. In a letter to the church at Corinth, Paul tells us how to behave in relationships. He talks about love. But it’s not about romantic love. It’s about what it means to love ourselves, and to know that we are loved by God. You see if I know that God loves me and God loves you, then we can have a mature healthy relationship. We can respect one another. That means we won’t act like children. I won’t let you bully me. I will pay attention to my feelings and stand up for myself.

This is what Paul says: in a loving relationship, people are kind and patient. When people are in a healthy loving friendship, they are not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way and it is not irritable or resentful.

Paul says love does not insist on its own way. Now you might go back to the discussion of where to spend Christmas and say, well if I decide where I want to go for Christmas, and that makes someone in my family mad then I am insisting on my own way. But I think insisting on our own way, as Paul is talking about it, probably refers to controlling other people. You know how this goes, in a group, when one person tries to control the whole group, and always has to have their way.

Paul is saying, in a group of friends, or in a family, there is compromise. People work together, and understand that not everyone is going to get their way all the time if we are going to be together.

Now back to Christmas, you may imagine a Christmas dinner where certain family members that you like are there, and certain family members that are annoying are not there, and of course, you don’t have control over that unless you host the dinner at your house. And then THEY get to decide whether or not they will come, because they also do not have to explain, justify or defend their decisions to you. Do you get the idea?

This takes some time. But the concept is a good one. Paul tells us that in healthy relationships people are patient and kind toward one another. We are not envious, boastful, arrogant or rude. And yet some of you tell me every week, that you are being treated in ways that are the exact opposite of this.

When that happens, after you get over your initial feelings of hurt or anger, I hope you will take out this scripture and read it. And then ask yourself the hard question: am I being loving in this relationship? Either way, pray for that other person. And then respect yourself enough not to allow yourself to be treated badly. If the relationship is one that you are really invested in, then see if you can find a way to have a calm, mature conversation with the person and tell them how you feel.  My spiritual director tells me to stand in my truth: “I feel this way when you do these things.” They can’t argue with the way I feel.

But you have to be willing to walk away, at least for awhile, if the person’s treatment of you is not acceptable.  Like I walked away from the car salesman, but that was easy. Having good boundaries means that we will say to a person, will not accept being treated badly. I love you, but I also love myself and I will not hang around while you treat me with disrespect. That is the hard, mature part of being in a healthy relationship.  And that’s what we want, to be treated well and treat each other well. And we don’t have to explain, justify, or defend our choice.   God calls us to be in living mature relationships.

I’ve given you a lot of information today. This was not an easy message. These skills are not ones that we learn quickly. We are going to be talking about healthy relationships for several weeks. You can read this message and the others again and again on our Village web site and blog.

We all want healthy relationships, and we all deserve to have them. I believe Paul would say that would should not settle for anything less. That’s why he described what love is, and invited us to live in this way. So let’s strive to love in this way (I Corinthians 13:1-7 from the New Revised Standard Version for those following along via the web):

4Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

So let’s go and be people who love.  Amen.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS: NO TURNING BACK by Cheri Holdridge (with an assist by Kurt Young)

The Village Kids are going to their room now and looking at this picture. They are going to have a chance to imagine what these two girls are thinking. We could do that too if we wanted to. I’m going to ask Jamie over lunch what they came up with.

Do you remember being their age? One day you are best friends with someone, and then next day, you hate their guts. One day you are “in the clique” and the next day you are out. One day you are in love with that boy or that girl, and the next day you wonder what you ever saw in that girl or boy, when you were little kids or maybe next week. Children, and teen-agers are fickle in relationship. They will turn their back on you in no time. Girls especially; am I right?

But here is the sad part: many of us never outgrow this kind of behavior. Now we expect this kind of behavior from our 12 or 13 year olds. We expect it, it happens. But too often, it happens with grown-ups, seriously!?!?

The childish games we played in grade school and junior high, get repeated through adulthood. We turn our backs on our friends. We lie. We cheat. We backstab. We get possessive or jealous. And so we sabotage our relationships despite ourselves.

Now in our defense, it’s not all our fault. It takes two to have a friendship. And other people are not always trustworthy. Sometimes they hurt us. They turn on us. They’re selfish. You fill in the blank. It’s a wonder anyone has a long-lasting partnership or friendship in our world. For the next several weeks at The Village, we are going to focus on relationships here at The Village, and what it takes to have “Healthy Relationships.”

Our theme for the year has been “We have enough.” I believe we have enough emotional maturity to have healthy relationships. I believe we can have good enough boundaries, and self love, to have healthy relationships. I believe we have enough strength, from God, to learn who to have healthy relationships. I believe we have the ability, with God’s help, to have these healthy relationships.

The Bible has some great stories of people learning the hard lessons of how to have good relationships. Sometimes we need to look at good and bad relationships to learn. Over the next few weeks we’re going to hit some of the best stories. Today we look at Ruth.

Here is how the story goes (Ruth Chapter 1 from the Message Translation for those following along via the web): Naomi’s family was from Bethlehem but they went to live in Moab because there was a famine in their homeland. Naomi’s two sons married two Moabite women: Orpah and Ruth. Naomi’s husband died and the sons died and so these three women were left with no men to provide for them. And in these times, you were totally dependent on the men.

Ruth heard that there was food again in her homeland of Judah so she decided to travel back there.

8-9 After a short while on the road, Naomi told her two daughters-in-law, "Go back. Go home and live with your mothers. And may God treat you as graciously as you treated your deceased husbands and me. May God give each of you a new home and a new husband!" She kissed them and they cried openly.

10 They said, "No, we're going on with you to your people."

11-13 But Naomi was firm: "Go back, my dear daughters. Why would you come with me? Do you suppose I still have sons in my womb who can become your future husbands? Go back, dear daughters—on your way, please! I'm too old to get a husband. Why, even if I said, 'There's still hope!' and this very night got a man and had sons, can you imagine being satisfied to wait until they were grown? Would you wait that long to get married again? No, dear daughters; this is a bitter pill for me to swallow—more bitter for me than for you. God has dealt me a hard blow."

14 Again they cried openly. Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye; but Ruth embraced her and held on.

15 Naomi said, "Look, your sister-in-law is going back home to live with her own people and gods; go with her."

16-17 But Ruth said, "Don't force me to leave you; don't make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I'll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I'll die, and that's where I'll be buried, so help me God—not even death itself is going to come between us!"

18-19 When Naomi saw that Ruth had her heart set on going with her, she gave in. And so the two of them traveled on together to Bethlehem.

Ruth understood commitment in a relationship. She had committed to this new family. She was not going to abandon her elderly mother-in-law Naomi, who had lost her husband and her sons. Family was everything to these people. These were the people of Israel and Ruth had taken on their God as her own. We don’t know why. We don’t know what she was leaving behind. But she was ready to stay with her mother-in-law Naomi. They must have had a strong bond, as friends. Ruth understood commitment in a relationship, in relationship not everything is good and light, in for followers of God. She knew the road ahead would be hard, but she made her choice – to stand with Naomi.

Because here is the thing: none of us get any promises of a life without some ups and downs. Ruth understood that. She had already lost her husband to death. So she made a choice, to move forward in life, with Naomi.

We all get a choice. Who will we move through this life with? Who will be the friends we will hang in there with?

I learned an important lesson about all this early on in my adult life. In my first church I had a women’s small group, where we talked about spirituality. It was a great group, because we had women of all life stages, young and old, married, divorced, widowed, some with young children, some who had raised their children long ago and some, like me, who had never had children. One night, we talked about marriage and commitment and those primary, life-long commitments.

Some women, who had divorced and remarried, shared that they had learned that when you leave one committed relationship for another, that you really just leave one set of problems for another. Everyone has baggage. They confessed that if they had it to do over again, they might have just worked harder in the first marriage. You just trade one set of baggage for another set. It gave me something to think about as a 24 year old single woman who really wanted to be married, and who spent the next 10 years thinking I would never find a life partner, the wisdom of those women was not lost on me.

I have some other friends, two men, who were in a relationship about ten years ago. One morning they woke up and realized they were not sure they wanted to stay together. They were at a crossroad. They had to decide if they were going to stay together and it was not looking good. They had been together for about 10 years at the time. They were past that honeymoon stage when you are crazy in love. They were to the point where you realize that those habits of the person that annoyed you for the first year are never going to change. That was on September 10, 2001.

They were living in New Jersey, and one of them was supposed to be working in New York City on September 11, 2001. The events of that day, changed our country and our world forever. Planes hit buildings, lives were lost, and my friends, like many others, took another look at what is most important. Suddenly the little things that were causing conflict in their relationship were not so important. In fact I asked my friend this week, if he could remember what they were fighting about. He said, “not really.” It was the same little stuff they had been struggling with for the first 10 years of their relationship and the past 10. They realized they would rather face life in this crazy world together, rather than alone, and they chose to build a life together. Now, ten years later they adopted two children. Today they have a strong family. They love God, and they understand that commitment is what is most important. No relationship is perfect. What’s important is finding someone worth working with, to build a life together.

So, how about you? Are you happy with your ability to hang in there and do the hard work of being in a friendship or a partnership, some significant relationship with an imperfect person? Because, as we know, no one is perfect. Now, let me be clear. I am not suggesting here that anyone remain in an abusive relationship. We all need clear boundaries to take care of ourselves. And there are limits to what we can put up with, because we cannot control the behavior of the other person. Did you hear me? We can not control the behavior of another person. But if you find someone who wants to work at a friendship or a partnership, are you willing to hang in there, do the hard work and find a healthy relationship. That is the question that this story from Ruth and Naomi has to offer us today.

I want to invite you to think, now, of one relationship that you would like to make better. Perhaps it is one that you are about to give up on. Or maybe it is one that is most important to you, and you simply want to re-commit your energy to it today. I am going to give you some time, in the quiet to ponder how you will commit to working on that relationship. You might write something down, or send a text, an email or a Facebook message to that person and let them you know care about them. Now, you may not succeed in this. It takes two. But you may have someone see the Jesus in you and reconnect.

Do you have a place that will help you foster your health in your relationships? If not, find one. There are many places where you can find that help, many trail heads to the paths that lead to healthy friendships and partnerships. If you haven’t found one yet and you’re near the corner of Monroe & Central some Sunday, drop by at 11 AM (or coming next year in Maumee).

MESSAGE – “21st Century Evangelism (aka Faith Sharing)” by Cheri Holdridge (with the usual assist by Kurt Young)

I woke abruptly yesterday morning. Jesus had spoken to me in my sleep. He gave me a message. Rebecca, he wants you to be an evangelist (and actually Rebecca and her friend brought another friend to church today), and you, too Terri, and you, Eddie. Will you do that?

Anyone think they woke up in the wrong church this morning? Anyone think that Pastor Cheri went off the edge? Think you checked out the wrong blog today? Well, you didn’t.

An Evangelist is not a person who scares people, scolds them, an evangelist is someone who shares good news, tells about who God is. Can you do that? Another way to say it: evangelist is someone who points to God in order to give HOPE!

In today’s scripture, (Luke 10: 1-12, 16-21, 23-24 for those playing along at home & on the road) Jesus sent out the disciples to teach and heal and to invite people to give their lives to God’s way, to give them hope.

You walked into the front area of a house, houses back then had a reception area like that and you were invited into the front section (no Holiday Inns or Motel 6’s back then) to be received. This was their method when they got to a town:

• Present yourself for hospitality
• Gave the host an opportunity to be a part of Jesus’ work
• You were not expected to house the enemy, so if not, you were going to be kicked out.
• The disciples had an easy way to force the question: do you want to be a part of God’s mission on earth?

The disciples were not to take anything with them when they went in and if they were not received, they were not even to take the dirt along with them from that town.

Houses aren’t built that way today. That’s not our custom. And most of us are not called to be full-time traveling evangelists. We are more settled. So sharing the hope of God with people, who are feeling hopeless, is going to look a little different for us.

So how can we do it? How can we share our experience of God, in ways that are authentic for us? Yesterday and last Saturday as well, some of us had a chance to invite some folks to come to The Village.

This week we were at Toledo Pride, inviting folks to come to church. We gave away 300 multi-colored stickers that said “I am loved”. We gave away 300 water bottles with the Village Logo (along with Equality Ohio’s logo). We gave away about 60 gallons of free water. We wore our “No Perfect People Allowed” T-Shirts. We even sold about a dozen of them. So about 500-600 people got the idea that the Village was a place that cared about people. That is one great way to invite folks to connect with God. How many of you came here because someone invited you? By the way, we did the same thing, minus the “I am loved” stickers, but adding face painting at the Maumee Street Fair last weekend.

When you invite people here, what do you say about this community? Do you talk about finding hope here? It takes many invitations to get some folks here. That’s why we just keep gently inviting. We have a variety of events, in addition to Sunday worship every week, to give you lots of opportunities to invite folks. This Friday night we are having a benefit concert for the AIDS Resource center.

But let’s take this a little bit deeper. Inviting folks to come here and experience this community is important. Because once they come here, the Spirit of God will grow in them. They will get hooked on hope, the way we are. But there is another layer in this scripture. Those disciples went out and talked to people about their experience of God’s amazing love. Their lives had been changed by knowing Jesus. We have stories to tell too. And we have opportunities every day, to share those stories with other people. I know it might sound a bit scary, but we can do this, each in our own way.

We can wait for the right time. It will present itself. A friend, a neighbor, a co-worker, will hit the wall, with a crisis, or with just the weight of all the everyday stuff that folks have to deal with. When this happens to me, eventually, I will have a chance to sit down and have a chat. I often do it in a place that is comfortable for me and the other person, over a cup of coffee, at a kitchen table or meeting in a coffee house.

First of all, I try to listen. When a friend is sharing that they don’t know what to do. Life is such a struggle. This is NOT the time to talk about how much MY life is also a struggle. When we think the time is right to invite someone to trust God, then the focus has to be all on the other person and God. It’s not time to dump all our problems back on them. We’ve got to get outside of ourselves. This is really important.

As I am listening I might say a quick prayer in my head, asking God to give me the words, to let met shut up about my problems, and asking God to open this person’s heart to God and let me give them your hope.

Then I wait for what seems like an opportunity to gently invite the person to consider turning to God for help, trusting God. Actually, I love the AA language here, of a higher power. Something seems to melt away, for some people, when I say, “Wow, you are really trying to take on the whole world on your own. Why don’t you let God worry about some of that?”

“TRUST GOD” is the mantra that has sustained me through oh, so many trials and tribulations. If you need a phrase to use when you are beginning to invite people to consider deepening their spiritual life, try that one. It’s a good one: “Trust God.”

Now, you need to be prepared, for a variety of reactions when you bring God into a conversation with someone who is hurting:

• They might be open to this, curious, thoughtful, you’ve got to be ready for that.
• They might get very emotional and start crying
• They might get angry because they have some old hurts around religious folks, I say I don’t like those judgmental, religious people either and neither did Jesus.
• They might just blow you off

It’s ok. You still said it. And know they know that you love God and you are a “Jesus freak.” From now on, they will be watching you and testing you. They’ll be looking if you are another one of the judgmental, hypocritical Jesus Freaks.

We talked about this last week. Once we identify ourselves as followers of Jesus, then we have a responsibility, and an opportunity, to act with love, compassion and forgiveness toward other people. We won’t be perfect. But when we make mistakes, we need to own up to our mistakes and apologize. That is what will model to the world, the way of Jesus.

It may take a very long time. . . A VERY LONG TIME. . . but we have to trust God. We are evangelists sometimes, simply by the way we live our lives. It works.

Here, today, we had multiple people share the long road that got them through the doors. Stories of lost church relationships were shared. Stories of a lack of acceptance of the brokenness we all have. Stories of destructive behavior that were fostered out there without a place like the Village.

But, what we really were happy to have shared were the stories of acceptance into the light and hope of our community that those same people shared. In the words of one member of our Village family, who admits she was a drug addict before coming, “God shows up at the Village and I show up to see God”.

So, you see, we all really can be evangelists, because we can all share the hope of Jesus with another person. We can share how trusting God makes a difference in our lives. There are people out there who need to hear that message. They are hungering for a place of hope. We were once out there and now we are in here. They are no different from us. They are counting on us, to offer them hope. So, let’s do it.

And if you’re one of those people out there, hungering for a spiritual life, a deeper relationship with God, we’re here, at the corner of Monroe & Central in Toledo each Sunday at 11 AM, and soon in Maumee.

“LET ‘EM SEE HOW YOU ARE” by Cheri Holdridge (with an assist by Kurt Young)

Last weekend we went to see the first pre-season game at Ford Field in Detroit. The Detroit Lions played my husband Kurt’s (and Rebecca’s) favorite football team, The Cincinnati Bengals (a clash of titans we admit). We drove up to the game with our friends who were here visiting from Philly. The kids, Kurt and I all wore Bengals jerseys. We wanted to identify with OUR team. We were, of course, in the minority, walking the streets of Detroit, and into the Lions stadium.

We got a few shouts from some Lions fans in downtown Detroit as we headed into the game. For awhile we thought we were the only Bengals fans at the game. Eventually we spotted a few other brave Cincinnati fans in the crowd. The Bengals got whooped, 34-3. It was a sad game. We stayed to the end. Though we headed to the car, through the stadium, during the last couple of minutes. Even Kurt could not sit still to the bitter end.

As we headed to our car, which was a bit of a hike, I must confess, I was a little uneasy. It was dark. I’m not so familiar with Detroit. We Bengals fans were waaay outnumbered. And even though our team had lost, some of the Lions fans were still giving us grief on the street. There we were, walking targets, wearing our bright orange and black jerseys. There was no mistaking our loyalties.

I could not help remembering Bryan Stow, the San Francisco Giants Fan. He was also walking out of stadium, a fan of the visiting team, on Opening Day last March 31st, just after the Los Angeles Dodgers had beaten the Giants 2-1.

As Stow and his friends were leaving the stadium, Stow was attacked by two men wearing Dodgers gear. They punched Stow in the back of his head, kicking him even after he fell to the ground, unconscious. Months later he is still trying to recover. All because he was wearing a Giants jersey. He identified himself with a team, and it almost got him killed.

We were wearing Bengals jerseys in Detroit, because we love Kurt’s team. In a way we were taking a bold stand. But I was a little worried, because I know that crazy people do bad things, (even to good people). Of course, we made it home safely, like millions of sports fans every day.

But it made me think. There are so many ways that show our loyalty. And there are consequences to every action. Now, I would like to hope that we could live in a world and country where no one would get beat up for wearing a particular sports jersey. That is just stupid.

The L.A. Dodgers have had to deal with some bad public relations as a result of that beating. Now, of course, no reasonable person blames the team for what some lunatic fans do. But still, the fans, associated with their team, did this horrible thing. So, at some level, at least some of us will make the connection, won’t we? I mean, I was a bit fearful in Detroit last weekend, wondering if some Lions fan might do the same thing. Guilt by association. Sports fans, in general, might get out of hand, and do really stupid and violent acts.

Well, let’s have a look at this concept from in another context. What if we had jersey’s that say: “I’m a Jesus follower.” Can you imagine that? Once we say that we are followers of Jesus – we have a responsibility AND an opportunity – to model Jesus for other people in everything we do.

There’s a saying that goes around, “You may be the only Bible some people read.” That is to say: some people are never going to pick up a Bible and read it – they are only going to learn about God, and Jesus and the ways of love and forgiveness and compassion, by seeing those things in our lives. WOW! That’s a big responsibility, and it’s a great opportunity.

You see, every day, we have a opportunity to show people how much people God loves them – by being wildly extravagant in our love! I don’t mean by being “nice.” Nice is lame. Nice is when your 95 year old great aunt she sends you a birthday card. I mean what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. called “being an extremist in our love.”

Can you be so extreme in your love, and compassion and forgiveness that it stops folks dead in their tracks? Wouldn’t that be something? And they’d have to say – “Wow – what is going on with you that you are so centered and generous with your love? Are you some sort of Jesus freak or something?” And you can laugh and say, “Yeah, I guess I am.”

I want to tell you a story about what it means when we do that. I knew a woman once at another church. When she was a child, she grew up in a family where there was abuse, physical and emotional. She did not know love. As an adult, she came to the church where I was pastor. She was in a difficult place in her life. She was struggling to understand what it might mean that God, and people, could actually love her.

She would watch how the parents and children in our church would interact. These were normal healthy loving parents and children. The woman told me one day that she was absolutely fascinated to see children that did not shrink away in fear when their parents called their names. She would watch as a mother sat in church and stroked her child’s back or gave her son a hug. She would watch as a child ran up to give a grandparent a hug with arms open wide. The woman had never experienced this sort of adult-child interaction. She was utterly amaze, utterly amazed at seeing love and compassion in a relationship between family. She told me that those families helped her believe in a world where there could be an honest caring and a healthy way to love.

This is what it means to be followers of Jesus who model love, compassion and acceptance. Those parents were being Jesus with their children. And they were helping their children grow up to be Jesus with other people. And they were modeling behavior for the woman who had not grown up in that sort of home. Generation to generation – this is how we do it. But not everyone starts out in an emotionally healthy home, so some of us have to find some healing, and go through some recovery, as adults. But as followers of Jesus we can create a community showing another way.

But here is the thing – wherever we are in the process – God has enough love to go around. Here’s what Jesus was saying to his disciples in this scripture that we read today (John 13:31-35 for those following along at home). He said:

34-35"Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."

People are looking at us. They are watching us to see if we really act the way they expect followers of Jesus to act. Now, we are not perfect. So we will make mistakes. When we do, we need to be able to apologize, make our amends, and do our best to change our behavior. We try to do better.

When people see us making an effort to be loving, compassionate and forgiving, it is compelling. This way of life is refreshing compared to the way many folks out there life. They want to be a part of this.

I talked to quite a few folks at the Maumee Street Fair yesterday. I talked to them about what they are looking for in a church. Folks loved our “No Perfect People Allowed” T Shirts. They kept walking by our booth saying, “That’s my kind of church.” They know they are not perfect. And they are tired of churches where they feel like the folks are trying to act perfect.

But they DO want a church where folks are acting like Jesus. And we need to show ‘em that we can be like Jesus. We can be extreme in our love, our compassion, and our forgiveness. We were giving away large, beautiful reusable water bottles with ice cold water (240 bottles & nearly 60 gallons of water). People were shocked at how generous we were. They couldn’t believe we were giving away something others were selling.

So this week, I want to invite you to “Show ‘em how you are.” Don’t be afraid to BE like Jesus. And when you have a chance – let someone know that you love God.

Let someone know that because you are a follower of Jesus, you choose to be more loving than the average sports fan. Be a good loser, and a good winner. Congratulate the other team, whatever the outcome. It’s just a game, folks!

In worship, we responded by taking a multi-colored string and making a wrist band out of it. We want to ask you to respond to The Message today by taking one of these strings (find one out there if you didn’t get here) and tie it. This is a reminder of: God’s love that is in you. Let someone tie it to your wrist.

Wear it for the rest of the day, and maybe the whole week if you will. Let it be a reminder that you are modeling the extravagant love, compassion and forgiveness of Jesus in all that you do. You get to show God to other people this week, in the ways that you treat other people. This little string is you reminder that you are a reflection of Jesus. “God’s love is in you, so let ‘em see it.”

If you want to be a part of a community of faith like this, we’re not alone. Find one, we are out here. If you’re at the corner of Monroe & Central in Toledo some Sunday at 11 AM(or coming soon in Maumee) come check us out. Let us show us you some extravagant love, compassion and the forgiveness that Jesus taught us.

"Kindom Looks Like What" by Kurt Young (doing his best to capture Karyn Wiseman)

This week in worship we had our friend Dr. Karyn Wiesman preach. I love Karyn to death. Not only has she been a friend of Cheri’s since they were both in the conference youth group, she’s been a part of the dreamers and prayers that created the Village, she is a great friend and a fantastic story teller. Mind you, that’s her job, she is a professor who teaches other ministers to preach. So, she is a story teller’s coach. In fact, she is Cheri’s coach, so if you love Cheri’s messages, give Karyn a little nod of credit.. She really can tell a fantastic story in a pulpit or over a meal. But the one problem with having Karyn as a guest minister is that she NEVER speaks from a manuscript. She rarely does an outline for anyone else (she did bless me with one so as to make this possible). Don’t get me wrong, she has a very organized, thought out tale to tell. But she really pushes folks like me who have to blog that story properly. Hopefully, this will do it justice. Now, that the lawyer disclaimer is done, let’s get to why you clicked over to read, our message this week.

Jesus in Matthew’s Gospel Chapter 13, tells a series of five parables. Parables are stories in the language of the culture of the time. The purpose of parables is teaching. They are not allegories, they are called Koans. They are aphorisms to tease you out of one way of thinking/believing and into seeing the world or living in the world in a new way. Jesus loved to use these stories. And at the time, they made perfect sense to the culture. For example, you may have heard the one about not putting new wine in old wineskins. If you’re like me, you surely scratched your head and said “WHAT?”. That does not speak to me. What in the world is Jesus talking about? But, imagine instead, Jesus said you can’t put new software in old computers. Now, the idea that sometimes a new way of doing things is exactly what’s needed. That’s a parable for today.

Most people have heard of Jesus’ famous Mustard seed parable. It’s one of these parables. The kingdom of God is like . . . It is part of the series of stories he told to explode the popular view of the kingdom. Jesus was counter cultural. He ate with the wrong people. He hung out with the wrong people. He loved to inflict and irritate the religious right and self righteous of the time. And that’s what Chapter 13 of Matthew was about. Totally exploding the myth of the Messiah and what he was going to be. The Messiah was supposed to be a high and mighty king, a great military leader. He was not supposed to be a nobody from Judea, born in a barn, hanging out on the first night with the smelly, nobody shepherds. Yuck.

The Mustard Seed is the most incredible seed is how the story goes. It goes from being the smallest seed to the mighty tree. Except for one thing, he’s messing with them. The mustard seed is not the smallest seed. The tree is not a beautiful tree that grows up housing birds. This is total BS. Yes, Karyn used that term BS in church. None of the stories made any sense. Jesus was trying to mess with these folks. Change their view. And they knew it.. They were farmers. They knew the truth about mustard seeds & trees.

Ever hear of the Kudzu? It’s also called the “Vine that ate the South”. It’s not native to the South though. In 1876, there was a Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia. Countries brought their wares from around the world. The Japanese brought them to the US, talking about how they used it for ground cover. A group of farmers of goats and sheep thought it was a great idea to bring it down there. The problem is the animals hated it and Kudzu ate the South. They grew everywhere. It literally spread like wildfire around the South and we even have it in our backyard. It is eating the backyard.

Why tell you about Kudzu? Because the Mustard Seed was the Kudzu of Palestine. It’s terrible. You would never in your right mind plant a mustard seed. So, the kingdom of God is going to be like a destructive plant, you can’t get rid of it, and will eat the world if you let it? No, but the people of the time thought it was what was going to happen. We would all be the good people, we would take over the world. Jesus was laughing when he told this. He knew what the kingdom was going to be and it was not going to be a bunch of perfect people, who all believe alike, look alike, worship alike, etc. No, he was showing them the ridiculousness of their belief. But they didn’t get it. Ever been to a church where they gave you a mustard seed? Run if they do.

The Kindom of God, yes, that’s not a typo. We are kin. This is not a hierarchy. We are not all alike. That’s why Karyn fell in love with the vision of the Village. The Village is a family where we don’t all look alike, think alike, work alike, even believe alike. We don’t have to pass a test to be a member of this church family. You see, we don’t get to decide who’s in and who’s out. We are a family of God. God gets to choose. And believe me, God never chose those the world thought God would. When God needed a great savior for the people of God when they were in Egypt, God chose Moses, a stutterer, whose mother had to abandon him as a child. When God chose a mighty king of Israel, God didn’t choose the oldest, strongest, mightiest warrior in the family God was considering. God chose the runt of the litter, a guy by the name of David. It goes on like that over and over again. When Joshua and his army needed an ally, God gave them Rahab, a woman (gasp) and a member of the “oldest profession” (you may gasp again if you want).

When God became part of the human family as Jesus, well, the trend kept going. Look in the Bible at the linage Jesus came from. Yes, David’s in there. But so is Rahab. Yes, Jesus human blood line includes her (faint if you must). And look at who Jesus picked to hang out with. Was it the shinny, happy, white, rich people? If you answer yes, go back and do a little more reading. Yes, Jesus hung out with the chosen people, the Jews, but he also hung with the outsiders. The lowliest of the lowliest of society. That’s who God chose as kin, everyone, even those who society said NO to.

We are all the Kindom of God. Those folks who exclude others, they don’t get it yet. They will. But for now, we’ve found it at the Village. We have a group of folks that reflect what God really is looking for in a family. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve got rich, white, straight, professional men, I’m one of them. But we’ve got rich, black straight professional women. We’ve got people who could not finish high school and folks with several graduate degrees. We’ve got folks who’ve got lots of money, and others who need a few bucks to get through the next day. We’ve got folks who would be welcomed in any church and we’ve got folks who have been literally run out of the church on a rail.

Karyn told us the story of Kudzu Jesus. A couple of years ago, an image of what looked like Jesus appeared on a pole outside a local restaurant in the south. If you stare at it long enough, you see it. It looks like Jesus on the cross. But, Karyn is tickled beyond all measure by the buzz. Folks would come from around the country and shared it on the internet. And anything that brings Jesus to others is great. But, here’s the start of the problem, it’s not even Kudzu. It’s another vine. So Kudzu Jesus isn’t even Kudzu. When she looks for the kindom of God on Earth, she doesn’t go to see Kudzu Jesus. She looks for places like the Village. And she feels so blessed to be a part of helping dream and pray to create our Kindom. And she ended worship today asking if we could do our best to spread the kindom of God like the kudzu we are.

We’re not the only place where this love can be found spreading around the world. But if you’re near the corner of Monroe & Central in Toledo some Sunday, come check us out. Soon, we’ll have spread to Maumee, and then, well, we’re going to keep spreading, there’s no stopping that.