WORDS OF GRACE: FIRE by Cheri Holdridge (with an assist by Kurt Young)

We are doing this series on Mother Tongue, and this week’s word is Fire. When you yell this word in a crowded theater it results in chaos. If you turn down your street, come home to a fire truck and your house in flames, the word fire means devastation. 

But fire, when we use it in the spiritual sense, can be powerful, amazing, it is a good thing. Fire means passion, it often means single-minded focus and purpose toward achieving a goal. Fire in the belly means a person is moved to do SOMETHING and is nothing is going to stop them until that something gets done.

Fire manifests itself in different ways in the lives of Jesus’ followers. The story of the beginning of the church is the story of a movement that spreads like WILDFIRE.   Read our scripture this week Acts 2 from the Message if you are reading along on the web.

It was awhile after Jesus had left the Earth, about fifty days, and they were celebrating a Jewish holiday called Pentecost. The disciples were all together in one place. This is how the writer of the book of Acts describes it:  “Without warning there was a sound like a strong wind, gale force—no one could tell where it came from. It filled the whole building. Then, like a wildfire, the Holy Spirit spread through their ranks.”

People who had come to Jerusalem from all over that part of the world, for the celebration of Pentecost, came running and joined them. It was a mad house. Crazy stuff started happening like people started speaking in languages they did not know before.

Their Leader, Peter got up and preached and by the end of the day, 3,000 people (probably really 3,000 men and then their wives and children too) were baptized and joined this Jesus movement. They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers. They were on fire.  

Have you ever been on fire like that?  Have you ever just been swept up in a movement? Maybe when you were young you joined a political campaign. Maybe your conversion to Jesus was just that dramatic! Maybe when you discovered your vocational calling in life and starting work at your first job you felt on fire like those early Christians. 

Can you think of a time when you have been really passionate about something important in life? Did you feel like God put you on this earth to do this thing? It might not have to be the thing that you were put on earth to do forever, but even something for a season, maybe you feel like being a parent? I think people can feel on fire to be a parent. Some days, every now and then, you look at your child and you think, “You know, I’m doing ok with this. I am on fire. I can do this!”  Some days are like that, aren’t they?  Once in a while you get a day or an hour like this.  

I know you all know the name Mother Teresa, don’t you? She is one of the most revered people on the planet. Born in Albania in 1910 she felt the call of God to be a nun at age 12  (think of the 12 year olds you know, imagine one of them becoming Mother Teresa), she joined the Irish sisters of Loreto serving the poor in India at age 18. In 1950 she received permission to found her own order, The Sisters of Charity, in Calcutta. 

They felt called to serve the poorest of the poor, those who were dying on the streets of Calcutta. Over the years their care has included refugees, ex-prostitutes, the mentally ill, sick and abandoned children, lepers, people with AIDS, the aged, and convalescent. They care for the people that no one else cares for and remind them that God loves even them. Mother Teresa was awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace in 1979 for her amazing work. Her Missionaries of Charity are now throughout the world in more than 133 countries with more than 4,500 sisters and one million co-workers. 

She died in 1997. Ten years later a book was published which revealed closely held insights into her private spiritual life. In Come Be My Light: The Private Writings of Teresa of Calcutta. In the book, you can read letters between Teresa and her confessors throughout her life. She asked that the letters be destroyed but the church refused. They felt the letters were an important part of history and it would be very inspiring to read her journey. 

You see, it took many years for Teresa to convince the hierarchy of the Catholic Church to allow her to found the Missionaries of Charity. One does not just start a new order overnight. They did not think she had the skills and the fortitude to do the job. This little Catholic nun was not up to the task. 

But Teresa was on fire. She had experienced what we call ecstatic visions of Jesus. In fact, she had conversations with Jesus. Again, a young nun does not just go to her superiors, or to the priests, bishops or cardinals and say, “I had a conversation with Jesus.” Otherwise, they will lock you up in the metal hospital. But over time, and writing many letters, (remember this was the 1940’s and there was no internet so it was a slow  and tedious process), she felt safe to write them about her conversation with Jesus. 

Now you need to understand that her prayer life with Jesus had become so intimate that she felt as though Jesus was her spouse. This may seem strange to us, but it was her relationship (and Kurt ads many Catholic nuns feel this type of relationship)This is what she wrote.

[Jesus:] Wilt thou refuse to do this for me? ... You have become my Spouse for my love — you have come to India for Me. The thirst you had for souls brought you so far — Are you afraid to take one more step for Your Spouse — for me — for souls? Is your generosity grown cold? Am I a second to you?
[Teresa:] Jesus, my own Jesus — I am only Thine — I am so stupid — I do not know what to say but do with me whatever You wish — as You wish — as long as you wish. [But] why can't I be a perfect Loreto Nun — here — why can't I be like everybody else.
[Jesus:] I want Indian Nuns, Missionaries of Charity, who would be my fire of love amongst the poor, the sick, the dying and the little children ... You are I know the most incapable person — weak and sinful but just because you are that — I want to use You for My glory. Wilt thou refuse?
— in a prayer dialogue recounted to Archbishop Ferdinand Perier, January 1947

       You see, by 1946, she had spent 17 years as a teacher in Calcutta with the Loreto Sisters, they were an uncloistered, education-oriented community based in Ireland.  She took a trip, a 400-mile (645-km) train trip. She had been working herself sick, and her superiors ordered her to relax during her annual retreat in the Himalayan foothills. On the ride out, she reported, Christ spoke to her. He called her to abandon teaching and work instead in "the slums" of the city, dealing directly with "the poorest of the poor" — the sick, the dying, beggars and street children. "Come, Come, carry Me into the holes of the poor," he told her. "Come be My light." The goal was to be both material and evangelistic , "to help them live their lives with dignity [and so] encounter God's infinite love, and having come to know Him, to love and serve Him in return." (from Time magazine)  http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1655720,00.html#ixzz2MPBK64cV

It took her four years to convince her superiors, but they finally let her start the Sisters of Charity, and the rest, as they say, is history.  But this is what we did not know until after her death. Mother Teresa lived the rest of her life, doing all that amazing work, work for which she earned so the world’s respect and so many accolades, and inside, Mother Teresa was spiritually dying. You see, she had those amazing moments when she felt Jesus speaking to her, when she was on fire, when she learned of her singular purpose in life. And then the fire burned out. What is revealed in the letters to her confessors is that her fire burned out. Except for one brief period 10 years later, she felt abandoned by God for the rest of her life. She never heard Jesus again.  However, she sustained her work, and her faithfulness, based on the strength of the memory of those early encounters with Jesus. The fire was so strong then, that she trusted them.

She suffered, but she suffered privately, with a series of confessor priests who knew her pain. She suffered what we call the “dark night of the soul”. On the outside she had that trademark smile. She kept doing her work, caring for the poor, opening one school and home for the sick after another. But on the inside, she was asking herself, “where is God?” Carrying on her work, agonizing, suffering as she longed for a connection with God. 

Here is the lesson for us: If Mother Teresa can do all that she did, based on a short time of being on fire with God in her heart, followed by a life time of emptiness, then we, too, can look for that moment in our life, when we have felt close to God, when God’s fire has burned bright, we can seize it, and make the most of it.

You see, I am convinced that we all have a purpose. We all have a passion. God puts some fire inside of each one of us. We all have a fire that makes us part of God’s movement to make the world a better place for all people – to make the world kinder, more peaceful, more compassionate,  more just, to make the world kinder. God is the spark, but we have to provide the fuel and then the Holy Spirit comes along and fans the flames.

Think about it, when you build a fire, you need a spark. We usually use a match, and then you start with some tinder, some light weight wood that burns easily and then you move to larger wood. And when you want to make that fire really burn you fan the flames. God puts that passion inside us. God gives each of us a gift and some burning desire to make a difference in the world. But we have to do the work. We have to put the tinder on the fire and then the big logs. The Holy Spirit fans the flames. The Holy Spirit gives that mysterious extra boost that makes all the difference – those unexplainable things that happen to make our projects move forward, that help doors open, and the impossible become possible. That is God working with us to make God’s dreams for us come true.

So, for example, my passion and purpose is to plant new vibrant communities of faith so that you have a place where you can get support to find God’s purpose for you. God gave me the spark – the idea that this is my calling. The Holy Spirit fans the flames by encouraging me in this work. But I have to put the tinder on the fire. I have to do the work. I have to plan good worship, have conversations to guide you and lead this church. I have to have conversations with you to guide you. I had to find the financial resources to start up this church and not give up when it seemed like the money was not there. That was really hard in those early years and there are still months when that is a challenge.

 Like Mother Teresa, there were days when I felt like God had abandoned me, but I knew God had called me to do this work, so I had to preserve and trust that the resources we need are out there. I just have to keep putting tinder on the fire to find the resources.

So, what about you? What is your fire? What is your passion? What is the one reason why God put you on this earth? It might be your vocation. But it might not be. I know someone whose job is to be an engineer to create better diapers. I am not sure that is his passion in life. It might be. But maybe his passion is to be a positive influence with his co-workers and always be a positive force everywhere he goes. Maybe he volunteers at the Boys and Girls Club after work because that is his passion and his job is just something he does because he is good at it but he is on fire to be a positive role model for young boys and girls who come from single parent families and need a hand up.

Maybe you have a dream to make a difference in the lives of people who have struggles with something that has been a struggle for you. Perhaps God has put that on your heart but you are thinking, “I don’t know how to do that. Who am I to do that?” Well you are right. You won’t make a difference if you sit around feeling defeated. Instead, how about putting one piece of tinder on that fire? Could you have a conversation with one person who does know something about that issue? Could you take a class? Read a book? Could you pray every day for 10 minutes for a month and ask God for guidance? Prayer is an amazing source of fuel for a fire. I can tell you that The Village would not be here without prayer, without a doubt!  If you have some idea, some dim fire that needs help to find it’s next step.   Then you should consider prayer. 

Perhaps your passion has to do with your work, or something you want to do in retirement. You need to make a change. You really want to change jobs but you feel stuck. In this job market, it’s easy to feel stuck. But you know that you have this tiny fire in your belly to do something different. You have been trying to ignore it for a long time because it is not practical. Now, I would not counsel you to do anything rash that puts your family in financial peril. If you have kids you need to take care of them. But if there is a fire, I urge you to pay attention to it. Consider whether it is the beginning of God trying to tell you something. Spend some time in prayer. Take a walk. Talk to a trusted friend or mentor and consider whether or not this fire is the spark is the beginning of you being the person God put you on this Earth to be.

When the Holy Spirit came to the people on that first Pentecost Day they were on fire. They knew the power of God in their lives, and they devoted their lives to the way of Jesus. Their lives were never the same.

That same fire is available to us. Now, I can’t snap my fingers and make it a roaring fire I in your hearts today. But I believe that fire exists deep inside all of our hearts. If you have ever had any inkling that God made you, knows you and loves you, then you have a sense that the fire of God lives in you. God wants to burn in you like a passion ready to set the world on fire with positive change in the name of Jesus.

My question is this: what is your contribution to the world? And what will you do to put fuel on God’s fire inside you. (Remember, the Holy Spirit will help too, but fanning the flames.)

       I want to invite you to take a little stick (They were on the tables in worship) and imagine that it is a piece of tinder. Think about what step you want to take to live into God’s dream for you. That piece of tinder is the fuel – the step you need to take. Maybe it’s a conversation you need to have, a class you need to take, a phone call you need to make, a book you need to read.   So you can take that little fire inside you and turn it into a roaring flame.

            Do you need a place to help find that tinder?  Or is it finding the bellows, that wind that will fan the flames of your fire?  Find one, they are out there.  If you are near the corner of Conant Street and the Anthony Wayne Trail in the Toledo area, come check us out.  We are here Sundays at 10:30 AM and out in the world the rest of the week.  We’re ready to help you hunt for or tend that flame.